Let's Play Two

Ernie Banks had it right. Nothing like two for the price of one. Well, OK, this is a day/night doubleheader with separate admission, but you get my point.

This time of year, how can you quibble with a doubleheader? Maybe the Red Sox sweep the Jays and the Yankees sweep the Rays and the Sox end this laborious day tied for first? Dare to dream?

It will be tough to pull off with Burnett pitching Game 1, though perhaps he will falter on three days rest.

Here are the Boston starters against Burnett lifetime:

Ellsbury — 1-for-8
Pedroia — 4-for-14, 2 homers, 4 ribbies
Ortiz — 5-for-16, 1 homer, 3 ribbies
Lowell — .4-for-14,  0 homers, 0 ribbies
Casey — 13-for-23, 0 homers, 3 ribbies
Bay — 4-for-8, 1 homer, 1 ribbie
Lowrie — 0-for-6
Varitek — 3-for-11, 0 homers, 2 ribbies
Crisp — .091, 1 homer, 1 ribbie

One small piece of news before the game. Okajima’s contract vested for next year because of total appearances. He remains a bargain at $1.75 million.

Buckle up for the next 18 innings. Looks like a nice day.

237 Comments

IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE…
Come on Petey knock one outta here!!
Ian, hows the waether supposed to be for today/tonight??

I love the way Byrd pitches, strikes, strikes, strikes!

Cmon Sox. Hits, hits, hits!

Thanks for the stories, Dave. Keep ‘em coming.

This really sucks that I can’t watch the game. I’m watching it on game day on my computer. Can any of you see it?

nope, it’s blacked out because Fox has exclusive rights to day games on saturday till 6pm

What do you think Dave was like in high school??? That imagination HAD to have gotten him in a TON of trouble!!!

Hey, I’ve got the game. Maybe I’m so far away that no one cares if I watch or not.

You’ve got the touch Arnie!!! Waht did you do?? Bribe Fox Network Exec’s with your Gourmet Menu??

Fabulous play by Pedroia on Inglett’s bunt. He scooped it and flipped the ball from his glove to Casey(Ellen’s boy-toy) at first. He was pretty close to Casey so he had to quickly but softly toss the ball without a transfer. Very nice play.

Papi can’t figure out Burnett. First at-bat it was all breaking pitches and Papi looked confused, this time he got a fastball(I think) but it was a little low and Papi couldn’t get much wood on it. Might have been a changeup.

Listening to the game on this audio reminds me of listening to the games with my dad….. Do you know how much he’d love to have seen THESE Sox?? He never did get to see them win a ring!

If Vernon Wells only played against the Sox he’d be Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays and Ken Griffey Jr all rolled into one. But he made a mistake and got caught at third. Should have stayed at 2nd. The evil jays are pounding the ball off the Monster that inning.

TO BE CONTINUED. This should get your mind off the game for a second. Can you guess all the T.V. show references in this blog. The one who guesses right gets a weekend with either Jody Foster of George Clooney – your choice.

It was about 1:00 pm when we called the paramedics. Both of us were suffering from abdominal distension, gastro-intestinal dysfunction, and a desire for more food. Fortunately we had the best paramedics in the city with Roy and Desoto through Engine 51. After giving us both an IV with D5W which is just sugar water and just about pointless but makes great TV and then checked out our vitals before we spent the next hour in the emergency room. Dr. Early and nurse Later treated us and it was there we remembered he also treated Ellen earlier. Earlier Early treating Ellen and then Early treating us with Later nursing us. There was a series of running bad puns going on.
It was 2:00 pm when we met with Captain Gary to talk about our day. He was fit to be tied.
“So you…saw Early and Later nursed you and this was the same with Ellen whom Early treated early because Late was sick with the flu.”
“Yes sir.”
I said it but I’m sure he had no clue what we were talking about because nobody can follow bad puns and because he was too busy stuffing himself with Arnie’s cooking. Turns out, Arnie was Garry’s personal chief. Arnie was a busy man…and the cause of our abdominal distension.
“Actually it was your overeating Friday..on Arnie’s food. Do you know how busy the man is. He just bribed Fox for the Red Sox broadcast. Leave him alone…so I can enjoy is crème sauce with lobster with just a tang of lemon along with his cinnamon apple pie and freshly juiced carrot and apple smoothie. You idiots…bugging Arnie like that! His food is special and deserved only to be eaten by the best—and by the way…I’m reading your blabbering report.”
“You were reading my blabbering report weren’t you?”
He leaned back in his chair. “Forget that. What’s important it what the autopsy said. Dr. Quincy…”
“Quincy, “I snapped. Quincy was Boston’s best pathologist but also the most temperamental. He was also a bullying degrading monster but he liked Arnie’s food…Arnie…why is this cook on my mind all the time. All I can think of now is food…food…food.
“Quincy said that he was strangled with a tie…most likely a wide tie with plaid pattern and a small Red Sox tie clip. Pretty ugly tie.”
“In other words…he was strangled with a tie and the rest is guesswork.”
Gary nodded and that told us everything we needed to know. Once again Quincy was extrapolating based on the evidence presented. Fortunately that statement got my mind off of Arnie’s…no can’t think of food right now. The force is so powerful though.
“I’ve had Reed and Malloy on patrol but so far nothing.”
In other words Captain Gary was trying to sound like he was doing something to solve the case by spouting out useless information to us. I was then waiting for the Skipper and Gilligan next.
“Also Friday, officer’s Gilligan and Skipper found nothing as well.”
Gary smiled as if he was proud of his accomplishment. I only wanted to get away. This was a waste of my time…but then again as a detective…I was just about useless.
“We need to speed this up. Tim Wakefield is pitching tonight and needs closure before he tosses his famous knuckleball and Lugo is crossdressing again to cope. In addition Manny Delcarman is out near Fenway Park singing Wagner. Ever heard Delcarman sing Opera?
“No sir.”
“You don’t want too.”
“Yes sir.”
“Get going or I get the man in the raincoat on this!”
“yes Sir.”
After enduring ten more yes sir’s we abandoned the meeting. The man in the raincoat wasn’t a flasher but the most annoying and pesky detective on the force. He was once a Los Angeles detective until they drove him out of town…and no I’ve never met his wife.
We headed to the home of Pangelotti. He was watching the television set in his aluminum foiled home. He had a large metal cap on his head with antenna and kept telling us to shut up.
“I hear it. Steinbrenner and family have paid Lugo off to dismember games but when he got hurt that plan failed. It was time for more drastic measure and that was a strangulation. Steinbrenner was talking to the Juptonions…”
“Juptonions?”
“From Jupiter you idiots! Don’t you understand. Francona’s murder is tied into why Pangaea no longer exists as a super continent and why trilobites no longer exist as a species and that’s because of Frank Lloyd Wright who designed his homes because he was the last survivor of Atlantis where Aquaman and the Submariner live. That of course ties into Route 66 and the dead end street that holds the missing T-Rex bones from the last comet. Oh…it all makes sense.
“Sir…time for us to go!”
“No…no…no. The History Channel is having a special on UFO’s and how they affect post partum depression and that is why I can prove that Elvis never died.”
“Of course sir but you see we have to go and discover who killed Rod Sterling.”
“It was Terry Francona of course!”
I knew right away he was not only insane but a bad dresser in his plaid pants and that ugly wide yellow and green plaid tie. Yes this could have been the murder weapon but I doubt it. He had it glued to the wall with a sign that said “this was to the yellow brick tie.
“Of course Sir.”
Gagme and I started towards the door when Pangelotti ran past us and stopped us.
“Gag-me?”
Gagme almost was fit to be tied. He hated being reminded of his past.
“Ya it’s me. I became a detective because Captain Gary felt sorry for me OK! You happy now. I’m a crappy pitcher that was brought into the organization to attempt to destroy the Red Sox hopes of winning a world series.”
Pangelotti then fell on the ground and laughed.
“You fool. That’s not what happened and you know it! You were brought in to distract from the impending meteor that struck Fenway park and smashed the left wall and that’s why we have no seats there and call it the green monster.”
I didn’t even want to ask where that theory came from so we left. We sat in the car and pondered out next move. It had to be RedSoxFan015. Being that he failed to reveal his true name gave us the great clue that we’ve been waiting for. It was time to question him…but first dinner at Arnie’s. I need energy.

Ellen, my earliest memories of the Sox are from the radio listening with my Dad while we did yard work. Those memories are very precious to me. I can still hear him cheering the Sox on, or grumbling when they screwed up.

Byrd might have a short day. Jays are sraying hits everywhere.

What is this Role reversal of last night????

Ouch!!

are you sure we didnt have the same dad, lol!

BYE BYE BYRDIE???

Not a good showing so far. Bad pitching, bad hitting, and (lately) no clutch hitting

i turned off the audio… i’ll check in on gameday!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!!!
GO-OOOOOOOOOOO REDSOX!!!

Ellen…read the Dragnet story. That will get your mind off the game.

Dave, you’re out of your mind!!! Keep the stories, lineups, Tv shows coming.

Thanks Arnie. Now list all the T.V. show references and win a weekend with Jody Foster!

You folks are living in the wrong country. All 4 games are on tv in Canada, either on Rogers Sportsnet or CBC.

Trust me, you’re not missing much with game 1 of the double header. Byrd is throwing batting practice, and if the Jays weren’t running so recklessly on the basepaths, the score would be much worse that 5-0.

Regardless, Burnett is much too dominating today. Sox aren’t going to score against him. I fear this game is lost.

Any chance the Sox pick up Burnett in the off-season? This guy would make an amazing addition to the starting rotation.

Well dave, my TV show knowledge is all from old shows. I haven’t watched much tv regularly, but I’ll try.
Diver Dan
Captain video
Columbo
Gilligan’s Ialand
Route 66
Chips
Twilight zone
Quincy with jack Klubman?
Odd couple
Startrek
Adam 12
That’s all I’ve got.

So what do you guys think about our 20 year old rookie Travis Snider?

Ugh. This sort of brutality has no place on television. Let’s enjoy the rest of the afternoon and set our sites on the evening game.

Not bad at all Arnie but no Diver Dan, no Captain Video, no Chips, no Odd Couple, No Star Trek.
You were right though on Gilligan’s Island, Twilight Zone, Quincy, and Adam 12. There are more… can you guess them!

This game’s ovah, I think. I’ve got to do some work here! See ya’ll later.
Oh, I forgot the history channel show.

Here it is. Ellen you’re in it too but this mostly focuses on the secret identity of RedSoxfan015. Can you guess it? Will I reveal it? Find out by reading:

To Be Continued:

It was about 6:00 pm when we left Arnie’s after watching some Red Sox on the network. The Sox lost both games of the double header mainly because they couldn’t get the runner past first base yet managed to give up fifteen runs in their bullpen. Typical game and I enjoyed it. I like punishment and that’s why I carry a badge.
Despite more abdominal distention we made it to the home of RedSoxfan015. The entire house was shrouded with paper and plastic. He clearly valued his privacy and wanted everyone to stay away…including the “Beware of Dinosaur” sign on the fence. That didn’t work of course. We all know dinosaurs are extinct and that cheap rubber dinosaur in the front yard with sharp teeth didn’t scare anyone. We went to the front door. Redsoxfan015 opened it up. He was wearing a black mask with a white sheet sprayed with ‘RedSoxfan015. It was a clever disguise and showed we were dealing with a master criminal. I stepped inside. Gagme was too afraid of the rubber dinosaur to move from his present position. How he ever faced a major league ballplayer is beyond me.
“Can I come in?”
“Sure detective…I’ve been expecting you.”
I walked in. It was a black room with black carpeting and mood music along with neon lights shimmering like the radiation storms in Alaska.
“Sit down in the chair provided for you. I suppose you’re here on the Francona murder.”
“We’re certainly not here on the crime and bedlam that has raged through Los Angeles California tearing through our land and destroying the American dream. No sir, we’re not here on the moral decay or the liberal freaks that claim they are in the right but are just crazy people or are we here for the conservative who claim they are in the right but are just a bunch of thugs. No sir…we’re not here for any of those things.”
I sat down and then heard uncomfortable coughing in the room.
“Are you sane Friday?” was Redsoxfan015’s question. I turned to him and said, “of course not. I carry a badge.”
“I carry mlb.com in my head but I don’t monologue like an idiot.”
Redsoxfan015 carried a deep and scratchy voice and was clearly using a voice distorter. He wanted his identity protected at all costs.
“We’re you or were you not responsible for the death of Terry Francona?”
He got up and said, “so you run with the ball and hit the end zone with that thought. You never beat around the bush nor are you a sight for sore eyes. You swim with the sharks don’t you Friday?”
I starred into redsoxfan015’s eyes. They were small and glassy as if they were fake…and then I realized they were.
“All right Friday…I’ll play ball with you. I have rhyme and reason in my thinking. I don’t count my chickens before they hatch, but I do put my ducks in a row to avoid being a bull in a china shop. I hit em’ for all its worth and leave no stone unturned because I like change and need change. ”
“Shut up, “I screamed. He was using the oldest trick in the book – bombarding me with bad cliché’s to avoid answering a question. He was like a politician and that only made me want Arnie’s lunch menu of tender chicken strips with a garlic onion crème sauce.
“So who are you really?”
He laughed and turned away. “Ah…so you don’t beat around the bush and go for the kill. You don’t mouse around do you. You’re wired for detective work…detective and I’m wired for deception. You’ll never know who I am or if I’m the real RedSoxfan015…but I will tell you this. You are on the road to nowhere…the long and winding road. And like a Bridge Over Troubled Water…you will only hear the sounds of silence. Let it Be Friday. The World Is Not Enough to answer your question.”
I rolled my eyes. Now it was song titles. RedSoxfan015 was clearly insane…or was this a phony pretending to be the disguised Redsoxfan015 pretending to be insane. It was all so confusing. I needed Arnie. He would straighten me out…with some Earl Gray tea…but I couldn’t think of that now.
“You’re weakening Friday…and your useless partner who almost ruined the 2007 season isn’t helping the matter. No Friday…you’re going to not figure out the case. I’m Walking On Sunshine and you don’t even Have A Hammer to Hammer in the Morning.”
“No…I’d hammed in the evening.”
“All over this land?”
“I’d hammer of Justice. I’d hammer of Freedom. I’d hammer of Love between our brothers and sisters…all over this land.”
It was two hours later before we left. RedSoxfan015 was an avid music fan and while Gagme played the drums, redsoxfan015 and I hit the guitars and piano singing a variety of folk songs. We then called Ellen over and formed a trio singing until the night air choked our throats. I especially enjoyed the Peter, Paul, And Mary songs but the Paul Simons tunes were great as well. We found out RedSoxFan015’s identity but chose not to reveal it at this time…because we knew if we did…it might be disaster for solving the case and I can’t say any more than that except it was off to our next target — the man they everyone says they love – Raman. You might even say that Everybody loves Rayman

I’m stopping for now to give everyone a chance to catch up. Good call on the History Channel Arnie but you forgot “Emergency!”

Wow, my tv trivia skills are pathetic. Flash Gorden and Aquaboy? I give up.

LOL, Dave…

The only highlight in this game is Hansack. Nice job by him keeping the bullpen fresh for game 2

That Fox blackout must be an East Coast thing. I live in AZ and I was able to watch the game, although I would have been better off not being able to watch it.
How about the Yanks giving Arod a rest against TB?

TO BE CONTINUED – RAYMAN

Unfortunately for us we had a good nights sleep and that meant facing reality. After that abysmal sting we meet at the station to discuss all the facts of the case.
“O.K. Gagme…what do we know about this case that exemplifies our abilities as detectives.”
A pause was followed by another longer pause.
It was exactly fifteen minutes later after much heavy breathing and tapping of fingers without saying a word to each other that we called a code 7 and hit Arnie’s. It was a place to unwind and RedSoxfan015 was doing Peter Paul and Mary with Ellen. It was a good time until Ellen failed to hit f flat. It was a painful moment.
We met with Rayman at the restaurant to talk about the case and redeem ourselves.
“So I guess we’re meeting here because you guys are looking for new material and are tired of the house setting.”
“You can only carry the joke so far…” I said and then I realized the joke was on me…whatever that meant.
Rayman leaned back in his chair. He bore a striking resemblance to Ray Ramano and it didn’t help he had a SAG card in his wallet. Was this the famous Everybody loves Raymond star just acting humble on the blogs – you’ll never hear it from me (it is).
“So you guys need a lead on the case right?”
“Right!”
“I was there…I saw the murder…sort of.”
I was shocked and stunned to hear this revelation. He saw the murder…sort of. It was our first break and while Gag-me was gagging on French fries I asked Raymond to tell me the story – or should I say Ray Ramano…if that were his name.
“Well…after the show broke up, I went to work with the grounds crew of Fenway park. I was always a baseball fan and I know the bloggers would never find out my real identity.
“I’ll never tell, “I said and it was true. They would never find out.
“Anyway, I was washing the infield down with soap and water especially around shortstop. It’s habit now but it was a necessity at one time. Lugo has bladder problems you know. I am so glad he’s out of the lineup.”
“Uh hu, “I said trying to sound smart.
“Anyway, I always bring Francona a tea – Earl Gray before the game. He likes to feel like he’s Captain Francona of the Starship Enterprise fighting off the Devil Ray Borg. Crazy but it keeps him going. He even wrote about it and gave it to some crazy blogger named Dave for publication. Anyway, I was doing that and getting him his tea and when I come to the locker room…there he is on the floor with a tie around his neck. That’s all I know.”
“So…you didn’t see the murderer?”
“No.”
“So you didn’t actually see the crime?”
“No.”
“So you are the last person that saw him alive.”
“No the murderer was that person.”
“So you just wasted my time right?”
“Pretty much but at least you now know about Lugo’s bladder problem.”
I can’t tell you what it was like to drink fresh slightly sweetened lemonade and hear about Lugo’s bladder problem. It’s not a pretty sight. Raymond knew more. I was sure of it. Maybe he was the criminal that killed him but he has an alibi – he claims he’s not the murderer and that gets him off. Blast it detective work is hard work.
“Oh there is one more thing!”
“What, “I asked.
“Chman712 also works with me in grounds and he makes Captain Francona Picard – as he likes to be called the tea before I give it to him. Do you think he poisoned him with the tea and then gave it to me wrapping a tie around his neck to mislead the investigation?”
I nodded politely then turned to Gagme.
“That’s a great idea. We need to talk to chman712.”
“Not yet, “I snapped. “There’s just one thing. One thing that you forgot to do that totally eradicates you as an innocent person and puts you number on the suspect list and I think you know what it is.”
Raman smiled and rolled his eyes.
“Of course I’ll give you my autograph…”
“And a set tour…”
“Set got striked.”
“The set was on strike?”
‘No the set was striked. It’s no longer there.”
“You mean you can’t see it because it’s on strike.”
“That means we took apart the set. It’s called striking the set.”
Long pause.
Long pause.
I finally understood that striking the set meant to take it apart. This case gets more and more complicated and the jokes keep getting worse. We have to find chman712 fast before I launch into my dentist joke.

PG,
A-Rod’s out with a sore neck! Maybe in for game 2.

I havenn’t read anything since my last entry so let me just say this: WILD CARD ANYONE??? I don’t pretend to know exactly what it would take to win the Division title, but it just seems as if we are destined to have to win this from behind… But that’s when we are at our best…

Well, cleaning, laundry and cooking done. Here I am once again the perpetual “Pollyanna”. Even for me that role is starting to wear a little thin. But it’s chin up, chest out (for me thats not too difficult [lol]) and my RedSox #7 (Nixon, not Drew) t-shirt on ready to take my place on the cheer-line. oops, I AM the cheer line…. PomPom’s at the ready!!!
The “boys” had better pull one out of the old keester tonight since The DEVILRAYS DEVILRAYS DEVILRAYS DIDNT LOSE!!!! Since I’m on a roll here, this is my thought for the night: LOSE LOSE LOSE DEVILRAYS DEVILRAYS DEVILRAYS!!!!
AND
LET’S GO REDSOX, LET’S GO!!!!! CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!!!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!

I hope B.C. is ready for this!!! Go Bartolo!!!!

LET’S GO REDSOX, CLAP, CLAP…. CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!!!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!

Now that’s hustle…..did you see that ZAZU?????

Wow. Now THAT’S a way to score 2 runs

I think I’m going to cry,at this rate we are going to get our ***** kicked by the DEVILSOX,THE JINX IS NOW ON LOL.

Don’t worry Garry…..looks like we are giving the charity you all gave us back to you.

Colon gives it up.

cfarnham,one thing for sure if anybody needs charity it’s us,we are always to little to late
Is’s like a big rush to nowhere.

Garry,
If you guys ever get off to a good start there will be hell to pay for the rest of the AL EAST.

This is really starting to look pathetic.. if it hadnt been for heads up base running we’d be down 0-5!!

Hang on Ellen,
Lots of game left!!!!!

for every step forward that we took we take 1 1/2 backward!!

ellenc.Dont let the Jays bother you ,you will win the wildcard and a lot of teams that have won the wildcard have gone on to play in the world series.

I know… should that worry me???

No.Boston has a great team,If they get past the Halos they will face the Cubs,What a series that will be.I just might have to crack open a bottle of rye for that one.lol.

We knew this would be a tough series. Lots of game left.

Nice inning…..now time to chip away.

Pedroia for the season gets nearly 1.25 hits per game…. You know what they say, dynamite comes in small packages!!

Evidently, Pedroia is the only player who’s interested in winning this game.

Pedroia,is one of the best second basemen i have ever seen.

Pedroia is an incredible ballpalyer.

NESN was just showing a shot of Lowrie running off the field, for a second I thought I was looking at Garciapara…

Ortiz looks awful (and for a while) — I always wondered how we scored Ortiz — how anyone could let him go — never thought he could get into such a prolonged trough — if this year was the first year we had him, we all would probably be flaming him, — but at least it explains how Minnesota possibly parted with him — I think I recall hearing that when Minnesota let him go, he wasn’t really hitting all that well then. I hope he can hit without Manny, I think that took a lot of spirit out of him — no matter how selfish Manny was, it looked like Ortiz really like him.

Something more than his wrist is bothering him, or if that is entirely it, then maybe they should take him out — he really looks bad at the plate — its more painful to watch it happen to him, than to waste the out.

Let’s Go Redsox, Clap, Clap…..Clap Clap Clap!!!!

This here’s a story ’bout a man name Jed…

Let’s Go Redsox, Clap, Clap…..Clap Clap Clap!!!!

Jed needs one more can of spinach.

I’ll say one thing….if you need a SAC fly….I like to see him at the plate. He doesn’t ground in to very many DP. We need to get this guy in from 3rd. I could even deal with another SAC FLY just do not leave him there!!!!

Bases loaded, none out. Result? 1 lousy run.

I thought that the best we could hope for was a split of this series. Hopefully Halladay has another off day tomorrow and Lester is on. I was very afraid of this Blue Jay pitching staff, and sure enough. Only hope for this game is that B.J. Ryan falters as he’s done lately. Don’t count on it though, Ryan saves his best for games against the Sox.

Thankfully Wakefield was masterful yesterday, or we’d be facing the worst possible scenario tomorrow.

I like the way Lopez has looked of late. He throws strikes and has great location.

Lopez has looked simply fantastic for over a month now. He’s certainly ready for the postseason (if there is one).

Okay Ron,
What are the chances we at least move this guy to 3rd with less than two outs?

I forgot,
Petey was up. Good job!

Ok it has been a long time since I joined this blog. But can someone explain to me Tito is thinking sometimes. That last inning he puts COCO in to pinch hit LEFT handed??? The guy is batting about 200 this year left handed.

Yankees have tied up the Rays 4-4.

Still just can’t force myself to root for the G. D Yanks. I would rather finish in second than root for them

I’m thinking that was a sacrifice bunt by Ross……. did I see that correctly?

Agen,
Even I never thought I’d root for the Yankees but they are going nowhere and the DEVILRAYS need a good ole fashion *** Whoopin’.

Goopd job by Lowrie, and Ross to get the bunt down. Jerry and Rem Dawg were right. Sweet Caroline did pump the sox up! Get a run!

IT’s a miricale Tito did the right thing for once

How ’bout that bunt Garry…..have you been Jedi Mind tricking Francona????

What a surprise Coco failed again!

How ’bout that. A swinging suicide squeeze!!!!!!

Yankees now lead Rays 5-4, bottom of the 7th, two outs.

Thank You Baseball Gods!!! Unbelievable. Ellsbury now has to steal. You have nothing to lose.

What a freaking at-bat by Ellsbury. It was a swinging bunt. And they take the lead

Ok time for Ortiz to finally do something!!

200 Hits for the big guy!!!!!

Congrats to M-V-Pedroia for his 200th hit of the season. That is something he will remember for a long, long time.

Just checked in to see the score of the night-cap. COMEBACK!!!!!!!!!! YAHOOOOOO!!!! GO SOX!!!!! I DO BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Way to go Ortiz! Wish Ped had scored but thats OK big run. Best part is we have a 2 run cushion and Pap has had time to warm up.

Way to go Papi. HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O’s coming back agains Twins!!

I decided after my last comment that I wouldnt comment anymore until thinkgs turned around,, well… I’M BAAACK!!

Ellen, I told you there was a lot of game left about 1 1/2 hiurs ago!!!!!! Huge win!!!!!!! And they way they did it against their latest nemisis was a good thing!!!!!!! GO Sox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Huge huge win!!

That was an unbelievable comeback! Jays are done like dinner.

I can’t believe that stumble by Scott Down, but he probably wouldn’t have gotten Ellsbury anyway.

Tito you are a genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha HA!

The Red Sox won this game because of the bullpen.
And this one fact is the most important: Devern Hansack threw 3 innings to keep the bullpen rested and it helped out in this game.

That was a great win for the Sox tonight. The bullpen was very impressive and there were a few timely hits for a change. That puts the Jays 7.5 behind again and the Rays are now losing to the Yankees 6-4 after eight innings. Tomorrow’s game should be a good one with Lester and Halladay. Halladay is coming back on 3 days rest after getting whacked pretty good his last time out. He has thrown a lot of innings this year, so maybe it’s taking its toll.

Pats take on the Jets tomorrow in what I think is a test to see whether or not the Pats will be competitive this year. Even without Brady, the Pats are a formidable team and I like their chances tomorrow.

15 games to go with 4.5 game lead in WC. Still not in the bag. But tonight was a big step toward mentally knocking the Jays out. The Twins are still a concern.

That was a great win for the Sox tonight. The bullpen was very impressive and there were a few timely hits for a change. That puts the Jays 7.5 behind again and the Rays are now losing to the Yankees 6-4 after eight innings. Tomorrow’s game should be a good one with Lester and Halladay. Halladay is coming back on 3 days rest after getting whacked pretty good his last time out. He has thrown a lot of innings this year, so maybe it’s taking its toll.

Pats take on the Jets tomorrow in what I think is a test to see whether or not the Pats will be competitive this year. Even without Brady, the Pats are a formidable team and I like their chances tomorrow.

Smart move by Francona, to essentially concede the afternoon game and take his starters out to rest up for the evening contest. I initially thought he was crazy to PH for Pedroia with 2 on in the 7th, but then had to shake my head and realize again they were down 8-0, you don’t come back from that kind of deficit very often.

Pitching looks to be set up nicely tomorrow for the Sox. Lester on four-days rest, Delcarmen, Okie and Papelbon available, perhaps even Masterson and Lopez for a batter or two if necessary. Against Halladay on 3 days rest, after a bad outing, Carlson can’t be used, Downs is probably out. I like our chances for 3 out of 4. Going into this series, I would’ve taken that.

Great win tonight!
I know I’m getting ahead of myself, but if the Sox win tomorrow will we give Tito credit for arranging his rotation to have the up-and-coming ace Lester pitch against Halladay? Nah, why would we do that? It would be just as preposterous as blaming him for the losses to the devilrays. (Lester IS pitching tomorrow, no?)

3 out of 4 from the “surging” jays would be soooooo good. It would put the Sox and their fans in a winning mood for sure!

Brian, I told you that the Ohio State-USC game would be a lopsided score. When will you learn? lol. I’m glad the Sox won the nightcap, otherwise it would have been a bad sports day for me. Hopefully, the Sox can trim Tampa Bay’s lead to one game entering the series on Monday.

Jeff
http://www.soxandpinstripes.com

Here is the next entry. Hope you guys are reading it. Sox have to win today and sweep the Rays otherwise it’s not a good situation at all.

TO BE CONTINUED – RAYMAN

Unfortunately for us we had a good nights sleep and that meant facing reality. After that abysmal sting we meet at the station to discuss all the facts of the case.
“O.K. Gagme…what do we know about this case that exemplifies our abilities as detectives.”
A pause was followed by another longer pause.
It was exactly fifteen minutes later after much heavy breathing and tapping of fingers without saying a word to each other that we called a code 7 and hit Arnie’s. It was a place to unwind and RedSoxfan015 was doing Peter Paul and Mary with Ellen. It was a good time until Ellen failed to hit f flat. It was a painful moment.
We met with Rayman at the restaurant to talk about the case and redeem ourselves.
“So I guess we’re meeting here because you guys are looking for new material and are tired of the house setting.”
“You can only carry the joke so far…” I said and then I realized the joke was on me…whatever that meant.
Rayman leaned back in his chair. He bore a striking resemblance to Ray Ramano and it didn’t help he had a SAG card in his wallet. Was this the famous Everybody loves Raymond star just acting humble on the blogs – you’ll never hear it from me (it is).
“So you guys need a lead on the case right?”
“Right!”
“I was there…I saw the murder…sort of.”
I was shocked and stunned to hear this revelation. He saw the murder…sort of. It was our first break and while Gag-me was gagging on French fries I asked Raymond to tell me the story – or should I say Ray Ramano…if that were his name.
“Well…after the show broke up, I went to work with the grounds crew of Fenway park. I was always a baseball fan and I know the bloggers would never find out my real identity.
“I’ll never tell, “I said and it was true. They would never find out.
“Anyway, I was washing the infield down with soap and water especially around shortstop. It’s habit now but it was a necessity at one time. Lugo has bladder problems you know. I am so glad he’s out of the lineup.”
“Uh hu, “I said trying to sound smart.
“Anyway, I always bring Francona a tea – Earl Gray before the game. He likes to feel like he’s Captain Francona of the Starship Enterprise fighting off the Devil Ray Borg. Crazy but it keeps him going. He even wrote about it and gave it to some crazy blogger named Dave for publication. Anyway, I was doing that and getting him his tea and when I come to the locker room…there he is on the floor with a tie around his neck. That’s all I know.”
“So…you didn’t see the murderer?”
“No.”
“So you didn’t actually see the crime?”
“No.”
“So you are the last person that saw him alive.”
“No the murderer was that person.”
“So you just wasted my time right?”
“Pretty much but at least you now know about Lugo’s bladder problem.”
I can’t tell you what it was like to drink fresh slightly sweetened lemonade and hear about Lugo’s bladder problem. It’s not a pretty sight. Raymond knew more. I was sure of it. Maybe he was the criminal that killed him but he has an alibi – he claims he’s not the murderer and that gets him off. Blast it detective work is hard work.
“Oh there is one more thing!”
“What, “I asked.
“Chman712 also works with me in grounds and he makes Captain Francona Picard – as he likes to be called the tea before I give it to him. Do you think he poisoned him with the tea and then gave it to me wrapping a tie around his neck to mislead the investigation?”
I nodded politely then turned to Gagme.
“That’s a great idea. We need to talk to chman712.”
“Not yet, “I snapped. “There’s just one thing. One thing that you forgot to do that totally eradicates you as an innocent person and puts you number on the suspect list and I think you know what it is.”
Raman smiled and rolled his eyes.
“Of course I’ll give you my autograph…”
“And a set tour…”
“Set got striked.”
“The set was on strike?”
‘No the set was striked. It’s no longer there.”
“You mean you can’t see it because it’s on strike.”
“That means we took apart the set. It’s called striking the set.”
Long pause.
Long pause.
I finally understood that striking the set meant to take it apart. This case gets more and more complicated and the jokes keep getting worse. We have to find chman712 fast before I launch into my dentist joke.

Dave, isnt that a repeat??? Are the writers on strike again??

A few weeks back in N.Y. the Red Sox ended the Yankees season and there hopes for post-season. Last night’s win the Red Sox did the same to the Jays!!

Great pitching match-up today. Lester got smoked against the Jays last time against them. His worst start of the year. I doubt that will happen today. Let’s hope some of that momentum from last night will carry into today’s game! Jump Halladay early, don’t let him settle in. As the game gets deeper, Halladay usually gets stronger.

Dbenjamin,

What Happened? I can’t wait too here this one. LOL!!

Sorry Ellen. Here is the latest.

CONTINUED – chman712

Despite all our efforts, we were exhausted. We had not found chman0 or chman1 or chman2 and were just up to chman200. It took most of the day which we spent in front of a computer and denied Arnie’s food because of a slight gastrointestinal exhaling that created a bit of a stigma with the department.
After two days of work we simply gave up. Chman712 was too clever for us and it was no use. We had to conclude after chman512 that there was no way of finding chman712. One thought was what chman stood for. Was it code for chariot man or perhaps changing man implying he’s a shape shifter or perhaps charging man which meant he charged at things indicating a violent and perhaps psychotic personality. We don’t know for sure. Our last guess made by gagme was that chman simply stood for Charlie and he was a man but that made no sense since Charlie Brown is a fictional character and anyone named Charlie would have to be a man so we threw out the idea. Still, we had to eat lunch.
“Maybe chman stands for cheeseman. Maybe he makes cheeses?’
‘Unlikely, “I said. I of course had no idea if that was better than any other idea but Gagme was know for his idiotic stances on things.
“What about Christian man?”
“Again unlikely, “I said.
Gagme just sat back and ordered more French fries. I was too depressed so I ordered a vadka with beer. That hit the spot.
At 5:30 pm we were ordered back to Captain Gary’s office. He was spitfire and a branding iron.
“I have to do your job! Why didn’t you check the surveillance video of Terry’s office. We have the killer right on the hard disk!
“What’s that?”
Captain Gary kicked the desk and screamed “what does it matter. We have your murderer…now pick him up!”
We left Captain Gary’s office and headed straight to the man that would have been the criminal anyway. He was clever. He called himself chman712 but his real name was more terrifying. We knocked on the door. Julio Lugo answered.
“Yes?”
He was dressed in a beautiful pokadot dress with high heals and a fake wig. Chman712 got the best.
“Is he in?”
“O.J…I mean chman712…no…he’s not in.”
“You’re lying Lugo!”
We stormed in and there he was on the floor dressed in a baby outfit. We had him dead to rights.
“Orange Juice Simpson also known as chman712…you’re under arrest again…for a murder…again and this time we’ll make it stick!”

It was 5:30 pm and the entire blog was celebrating inside Arnie’s restaurant. The Sox had lost 15 in a row and were in last place by 40 games but tonight they squeezed out a win since Lugo was in jail for impersonating Oprah Winfrey. He was joined by Rick Wise for impersonating a potato chip company and Fred Lynn for claiming he was the mayor of Lynn. Captain gary says he dropped the later but he’ll get the Oprah Winfrey one to stick.
“Well…congraduations fellas, “said Arnie. He was always a fantastic fellow and a great cook. We ate well that night but there was still a trial…and and outcome.

To BE CONTINUED – THE TRIAL of Orange Juice Simpson

Sorry Ellen. Here is the latest.

CONTINUED – chman712

Despite all our efforts, we were exhausted. We had not found chman0 or chman1 or chman2 and were just up to chman200. It took most of the day which we spent in front of a computer and denied Arnie’s food because of a slight gastrointestinal exhaling that created a bit of a stigma with the department.
After two days of work we simply gave up. Chman712 was too clever for us and it was no use. We had to conclude after chman512 that there was no way of finding chman712. One thought was what chman stood for. Was it code for chariot man or perhaps changing man implying he’s a shape shifter or perhaps charging man which meant he charged at things indicating a violent and perhaps psychotic personality. We don’t know for sure. Our last guess made by gagme was that chman simply stood for Charlie and he was a man but that made no sense since Charlie Brown is a fictional character and anyone named Charlie would have to be a man so we threw out the idea. Still, we had to eat lunch.
“Maybe chman stands for cheeseman. Maybe he makes cheeses?’
‘Unlikely, “I said. I of course had no idea if that was better than any other idea but Gagme was know for his idiotic stances on things.
“What about Christian man?”
“Again unlikely, “I said.
Gagme just sat back and ordered more French fries. I was too depressed so I ordered a vadka with beer. That hit the spot.
At 5:30 pm we were ordered back to Captain Gary’s office. He was spitfire and a branding iron.
“I have to do your job! Why didn’t you check the surveillance video of Terry’s office. We have the killer right on the hard disk!
“What’s that?”
Captain Gary kicked the desk and screamed “what does it matter. We have your murderer…now pick him up!”
We left Captain Gary’s office and headed straight to the man that would have been the criminal anyway. He was clever. He called himself chman712 but his real name was more terrifying. We knocked on the door. Julio Lugo answered.
“Yes?”
He was dressed in a beautiful pokadot dress with high heals and a fake wig. Chman712 got the best.
“Is he in?”
“j.o.…I mean chman712…no…he’s not in.”
“You’re lying Lugo!”
We stormed in and there he was on the floor dressed in a baby outfit. We had him dead to rights.
“J.O. Simpson also known as chman712…you’re under arrest again…for a murder…again and this time we’ll make it stick!”

It was 5:30 pm and the entire blog was celebrating inside Arnie’s restaurant. The Sox had lost 15 in a row and were in last place by 40 games but tonight they squeezed out a win since Lugo was in jail for impersonating Oprah Winfrey. He was joined by Rick Wise for impersonating a potato chip company and Fred Lynn for claiming he was the mayor of Lynn. Captain gary says he dropped the later but he’ll get the Oprah Winfrey one to stick.
“Well…fantastic fellas, “said Arnie. “Getting J.O. Simpson was a fantastic thing but don’t you have the initials reversed.”
He was wrong of course. We never make mistakes. Anyway, Arnie was always a fantastic fellow and a great cook. We ate well that night but there was still a trial…and and outcome.

To BE CONTINUED – THE TRIAL of J.O. or O.J. Simpson

Hey guys. We’re looking for a good district attorney and a defense attorney for the trial of J.O. Simpsonl. Anyone want to volunteer?

I hope that Lester has as good an outing as he had the other night!!
Game should be starting in about 4 minutes, just enough time to say ….>>>
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BLEIEVE!!!!LET’S GO REDSOX. LET’SGO!!!! CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go YANKEES!!!! They have a 4-0 lead!!!!! over the DEVILRAYS DEVILRAYS DEVILRAYS!!!!

6-3 Yankees in the 3rd!!!
Jon Lester looks steady today!!! GO-OOOO SOX!!

Tito- mistake No. !. Why isn’t Lowrie playing? Cora is an automatic out. The pitch he swung at, he needed a golf club.
Mistake No.2 Why didn’t Coco try to steal;? If he is thrown out, you have Ells leading off. That is the advantage of having them batting ninth and leading off. Where is Tito’s strategy??

pangelotti, I wondered about Lowrie also. It doesn’t make much sense to have Lowrie sitting today. I think they were allowing Coco to run but he didn’t have a lot of opportunity. They had the pitch out on the first pitch and Ellsbury gave Coco a strike to run on, but he didn’t. I’m not sure you can pin that one on Francona.

What is Lowell swinging at? He couldn’t hit that with an oar.

C’mon Sox- Let’s get somthing going. It looks like we are asleep waiting for the shoe to fall. Let’s wake up!!!

WAH-WAH-WAH-The DEVILSOX ruined our chances at the playoffs.

I’m not sure 2 runs will be enough to win this game. I think Halladay is on a 100-110 pitch leash, so he might be out of the game by the 7th. Hope so, he’s unhittable now.

This is a very gutsy game for Halladay. He is really reaching deep to get through it because he appears tired to me. He’s not working as quickly as he usually does and there are lots of deep breaths. He just keeps making quality pitches

Anyone else have a problem with the Pedroia bunt in the first inning? It was a rather “late-inning, behind by one run” strategy. I gotta believe either that Pedroia was bunting for a single because he saw a hole in the infield defence, or else he independently decided to sacrifice (in which case the manager should take him aside and point out that strategy was not appropriate at that time of the game). Think about it: bottom of the first, down by a single run, Ellsbury has just singled and then stole second on the first pitch, you’ve got the league’s leading hitter at the plate…and he’s bunting the runner to third? That doesn’t make sense.

I’m grateful for the runner scoring and all, but that’s the strategy for scoring a run in the 7th or 8th inning when you’re down by a run. That strategy basically eliminated the possibility for a big first inning.

ronkelly, in that situation, Pedroia’s number one goal is to get Ellsbury to third. Whether he bunts or bangs the ball on the ground to the right side doesn’t matter, he’s got to get Ellsbury to third. That gives you two chances to get him in. In this case, I have no problems since the Sox are facing one of the elite pitchers in baseball the opportunity to score runs are going to be few and far between. So far, it appears the strategy has paid off.

Hey ya’ll! 6 outs to go and the Sox take 3 of 4 from those pesky Jays. GO SOX!!!
Dave, I haven’t had time to read your new episode of Davenet, but I’ll catch up later.
Ellen, I DO BELIEVE!!!! I DO BELIEVE!!!!!

I think it is time for Boston to get some runs here in the 7th!! Stretch out this lead and give the Red Sox a little breathing room.

Overbay gave up on that play. I agree with Remy, they still had a chance too make a play at first and get at least 1 out!

COCO!!!

Crisp with a big 2 out hit!! I never thought I would say this but when Crisp gets up, I have confidence in him.

Ellsbury ripped that ball to center field. He is having some much better swings recently. It would be nice to get him on track. He really ignites the offense.

Hey Brian, you up north?

I think Halladay’s day is coming to a close. Good swing by Ellsbury but hit it at Wells. Nice insurance run! Thanks Overbay. Boston got 4 outs that inning.

Garry,

Yes I am.

I am with you about Ellsbury igniting the offense. I get back on Wed. but not going to be back in time for the game on Wed. night. Oh well that is how it goes sometimes.

I am going with a Pats win today. Pats 24 Jets 20. It will not be the big plays by Cassel but limiting mistakes will be his friend. Favre will throw 2 picks!! Then again, doesn’t he always? lol.

WOW! What a nice inning for Lester!!!! If I’m Tito, I let him start the 9th, but I don’t see that happening.

I do see Tito letting Lester finish this one!! He’s got that connection with him, like Father/Son and I know he’s proud of Jon.

Is this Jon Lester’s best start of his young career? He came up big today and out did Halladay today. Not many if any can say that. This is the last game I root for the Yankees. lol. A-Rod with a grand slam in the 1st inning. I said way to go A-Rod. Yikes!! What will happen next? Rooting for Ohio State? LOL!! Never ever! Sorry Dbenjamin.

Halladay with a great start again. He’ll be on the hill in Toronto. It could be another Lester–Halladay match-up.

Thank you Alex Rios! Ortiz rumbling around the bases. New England just moved a little. lol.

MOTOR PAPI MOTOR!!!

I think Ortiz should try too steal home. lol.

Youk with the sac. fly. 3 of 4 from Toronto. Nice weekend for Boston! Let’s go Yankees!! Beat those Rays. All Boston had too do was win this past Tues. and they would be in first place, no doubt about it!

Pap better get it in gear! He’s throwing meatballs.

Jon-Bon better not giv this one up for Lester…. or for the standings!!!! COME ON JON-BON, GET IT DONE!! I BELIEVE!

Again, Paps has no movement. They will kill his fastball.

Jays are having some real rips at Papelbon’s stuff.

Get Papelbon out. Stick anyone else in there. jays are having a field day with him. Papelbon cannot pitch anymore because he can’t throw anything but a fastball. Can’t Francona see it. Get him out of there!

Papelbon must be hurting. He didn’t look sharp on Tues. night against T.B. Definetly not looking good today against the Jays. This should have been a a very easy save for him. A 3 run lead when he took the hill.

We got away with one today. That blown call at second base really helped us out. Paps doesn’t seem to have it . Let’s hope it is a temporary thing.

Thank you second base umpire. That miscall changed that entire inning. The Jays thunder was stolen. Amen!!

Note to Francona — do not use Papelbon tomorrow night!

Good series for the Sox against the red hot Jays. That effectively takes the Jays out of the WC race and the Twins are getting beat, so they or the White Sox are running out of time as well. The Sox showed a lot of character in this series coming back after blowing a couple to Rays. It would have been easy for them to get down on themselves, but they didn’t. Now with a little help from our new best friends in the Bronx, the Sox have a new opportunity when they head to Tampa tomorrow. Should be interesting.

This game was full of lucky breaks and an almost meltdown by Papelbon. He should get a couple days off.Maybe it is fatigue. DEVILRAYS LOSE! DEVILRAYS LOSE! Well, actually they are CLOSE to losing

Not a great deal of satisfaction in that win–Jays meltdown in the field and two critical bad calls by umpires (Zaun was clearly safe at first earlier in the game; Overbay was so obviously safe at second in the 9th); Papelbon looking like Gag-me.

Papelbon should get the next series or two off. Closer by committee for a week, and if it costs the Sox first place in the east, so be it. Keep the bigger picture in mind.

The numbers are making this look like this is going to be a VERY interesting next 2 weeks.. I ccant believe that we only have 3 more regular season series… Where did this season go?? It seems like yesterday I was seeing The Sox at Spring Training here in Fort Lauderdale and getting Youk’s aoutograph!! ( I didnt realize it until last week, But I also got Masterson!!)

RS015…. You can either call them lucky breaks or you can call them paybacks for the ones the Umps have taken from us this season… thats my preferred line of thinking!!

THE FINAL ENTRY
To BE CONTINUED – THE TRIAL of Orange Juice Simpson

8:30 am. Once again I am the fool. It was Migrane and I thought it was J.O. Simpson. Once again I need my glasses checked. It was so obvious – Migrane and Lugo have had this sick and twisted disgusting relationship for as long as he’s been on the Red Sox. How could I not see through it.
The trial itself was a sellout. Everyone from the Red Sox blog and everyone on the team was there for the trial. The Pawtucket Red Sox by the way broke the Red Sox losing streak by winning against the Devil Rays 24 – 1 led by four grand slams from Jed Lowrie who got sent back down when Lugo felt healthy again. Looks like that may change after this trial. Gary, also a prosecutor called his first witness – Migrane.
“Your name.”
“Joe Migrane.”
Winces went through the room. Anytime you hear his voice your lips crack, your heart flutters and your body cringes.
“Your occupation?”
“I’m head announcer calling the play by plays for the Devil Rays who really are a team to beat and better than your lousy Red Sox. I know it and I want them to win again.”
“Objection your honor! “shouted Gary. “Client is giving opinions.”
“Overruled.”
Gary looked frustrated but overcame that initial problem.
“Where were you…”
“I killed him OK. I strangled Francona. He was playing Picard and decided that my relationship with Lugo was off. Well that was too much for me so I strangled him. You happy now…I confess to everything!”
I smiled. It was that easy but lawyer Zazu got up and said, “my client has been under a great deal of strain…you know hanging out with Lugo. It’s demented him. He’s not well.”
Judge Boras nodded in agreement and said, “client cannot be held accountable for his actions…”
“Objection!”
Boras slammed down his hammer and said, “you’re out of order D.A. “
The judge came down and gave Migrane a major hug. We could only sit and look in disgust. The judge got back on the bench.
“Continue.”
Gary went up to Migrane. I never knew he had that much courage.
“Migrane…what are your feelings towards Francona anyway?”
Migrane looked…tears flowing like rainwater. Wet sweat covered his head like mildew. He cleared his throat.
“He was my hero.”
The Red Sox crowd cursed and screamed and the entire crowd was stamped down.
“This is difficult for poor Mr. Migrane here. He’s going through enough without this bias!”
Gary stepped back. He walked to the tape player.
“Here we have evidence of the strangling. A video.”
Gary played it but instead came a large screen filled with the most vial pornographic material that the world had ever seen. It took fifteen minutes for someone to comment on the problem.
“Sorry your honor…didn’t mean that mistake.”
It worked beautifully. The judge was so mesmerized that he ignored everything. He swung around and said to continue.
“Oh Gary…!”
“Yes your honor.”
“Give me that vial tape so that it won’t distract the audience anymore.”
Gary walked over and handed it to Boras. He then walked back to the table.
Gary played the real incriminating tape but Migrane and as expected Judge Boras and Migrane were now in a corner with Zazu watching the vial tape while Gary played the real incriminating tape.
“There you have it. The evidence. The conviction. Migrane did the murder!”
The judge said nothing. The crowd roared with anger. Can’t say I blame them.
Zazu walked up and screamed “Judge Boras you’d said you’d get him off so throw out the case…oh…I wasn’t supposed to say that was I?”
It didn’t matter. The shock in the courtroom forced Boras to declare a mistrial. I new trial was held but as expected it was determined that Migrane was suffering from exhaustion and was found not-guilty but a jury of Devil Rays fans. So much for a non-bias trial. Boras got a promotion to the supreme court. Zazu got a major book deal and the entire idea of justice washed away like the summer rains. I often wonder about that summer. It was a simple murder investigation and it turned into a fiasco. I feel there is no justice anymore. The Devil Rays went on to win the World Series and the Red Sox found last place again. There is no happy ending in this story. On top of that Lugo and Drew got extensions and Gag-Me is now the closer for the team – great move Theo Epstein. Lowrie, Ellsbury, Pedroia, Lowell, Youk and Dice-K moved on to the Yankees. Maybe next year…I have no idea but as for me I resigned. I was tired of the system of injustice that is baseball. Maybe next year I don’t know.
I took one last stroll through Fenway park feeling the stinging December winds at my back. It was almost Christmas in town. I liked Christmas. It was a time of year I could feel better about myself.
“Is that you Friday?”
I turned around. It was Arnie. He smiled and walked over to me.
“How’s it going. You think you’ll like California?”
“Not sure. I’ll miss Boston…and your cooking but the idea of being in this city of sadness…just too much for me.’
Arnie and I walked through the snow covered grass. A new wave of star colored flurries rained down on us through the windy afternoon. It was getting late and the chill in the air cut through your clothes and shivered your body.
“I hear next year the Sox signed Castro the shortstop for Baltimore. They plan to make him a pitcher. Things are getting desperate. Hasn’t been the same since Rosanne took over as manager for the Red Sox.”
I had just shared with Arnie a poignant moment and he brings up Rosanne but it was a good joke. Fortunately having redsoxfan015 for a manager was a decent move…oh and his identity…well, I guess you’ll have to ask him.
As for me…I look forward to California with beaches, warm weather and the hope that things will be better. Isn’t that all any of us can do anyway?

THE END

Bad calls happen quite a bit during the season. They all even out during the season. That being said, that was a HORRIBLE call by the second base umpire. A great great sell by Pedroia! A little thing there by Pedroia that will not show up in the boxscore. Pedroia is a gold glove second basemen!

Rkelly: I’ll take the win anyway we can get it and there will be plenty of satisfaction…. I’ve said it a hundred times on this blog, my late father always said “never look a gift win in the mouth, because if not for the gift you’d be down one more in the loss column”. We over analyze the wins and scream about the losses. I sometimes think that if we as Sox fans were given the World, we would ask to have a fence installed around it. The moral?: BE HAPPY WITH WHAT WE GOT

Hope you enjoyed Dragnet. Welcome comments and look forward to my next crazy idea

Not only is he a GG 2nd baseman, he is MV-PETEY!! MV-PEDROIA

The real horrible call was the one at first base. I don’t know how any umpire could miss that. The call at second base was a little tougher. Unfortunately, the ump didn’t have the benefit of the view of the left field camera that we had. He was blocked and couldn’t see Pedroia miss the front hand. Ironically, it wasn’t too long ago that Pedroia made almost the exact same slide. The difference was Pedroia went to the outside of the bag and the ump had a clear view. All that being said, those kinds of things are often what it takes to beat a guy like Halladay. I have to feel very good about the win. Pap looked awful. He won’t pitch tomorrow, and shouldn’t have pitched today. I would have let Lester start the ninth and go from there…… especially after the very easy 8th he had.

dave, I’m waiting for the 4077th M*A*S*H story line… (please don’t make me be Klinger) Margaret (Hot Lips) Houlihan was a childhood hero of mine, lol!!! and I think Lowell or Casey could be Frank Burns….. hey a girl can dream, huh??

Ellen,
I ran into a writers block when it came to mash but yes you were going to be Margaret but the problem was I couldn’t come up with a Hawkeye. Francona was going to be Potter/Blake and Lugo was going to be Klinger. Radar was Pedroia and Father Mukai was Tim Wakefield or BosoxBrian. The cook was Arnie — but he’s a great chef that gets fired in place of a bad cook. B.J. Hunnicut was Bay and Zazu was Burns of course or Boras or Migrane. Couldn’t decide. The problem was I couldn’t come up with a plot. I welcome ideas!

Dave, that was very creative, but it scares me… Has any one ever said you were a seer, or clairvoyant?? I REALLY hope not!!

I could have course choose Migrane as Hawkeye but he’s supposed to be the hero but I also found him preachy and a bit of a ham.

Didn’t you know that the show Medium is based on my life! (LOL)

Also, I’m predicting a sweep by Tampa Bay because I’m the optimist here (tears, tears, tears)

Your story indicates that ZAZU got a book deal.We know, he can hardly speak let alone write so he must have a ghost writer. ………Francona?????

Ellen it’s also not clairvoyant. You have that same zest and energy that Margaret had in life. I thought Margaret was a very important character on the show especially later on when she went past the one-liner and became a real character. It was an easy casting call.

Pangelotti,
His ghost rider remains anonymous but rumor has it that it’s Boras.

Pangelotti,
Sorry…meant ghost writer…not ghost Rider. Got superheros on my brain since I rented the recent old serials of “Captain Marvel, Batman, and Superman.” BTW…I would recommend Captain Marvel over the other two. Far superior.

Timlin could be Hawkeye!!!

Theo and John Henry accepted the deal to be the ghost writers, but said that Zazu gets no translator.. said that he wouldnt need one as he can absolutely trust them to tell the truth about what happened!!

Oh I like that idea Ellen. That’s funny!

Woo…we got away with one, but oh well. Only a game back! You know, I almost fully expected Lester to outduel Halladay today.

Dave, seriously, you dont really think that… no… you don’t , um,,, it, in your mind, couldn’t happen…. NO NO NO who took away our devoted Dave??? GIVE HIM BACK NOW!!! Oh no, they brainwashed him with their deadlyDEVIL ray gun!!!!

and you, with your sense of humor and wit could be BJ/Trapper John

hello unearth. are you new or did your name change too?

Hey Dave, I’m not sure Ellen would be a good cast for Hot Lips Houlihan even though she is the only lady here on the blog. You see, I don’t think Ellen would mess around with the likes of Frank (Migrane) Burns. You should make her one of the “babe” nurses. Then of course, there’s the bumbling Radar Staats, whose heart is probably in the right place, but he’s just totally inept. Hey, there was only one center to MASH, and that was Hawkeye Dave and his trusted friend, B.J. Boxsox Brian. Of course, there was also only one Major Arnie Winchester III. Of course, the whole unit is held together by elder statesman Col. Garry Potter. Julio Lugo continues doing what he does best starring as the cross dressing Cpl. Julio Klinger and while Sgt. Tito Francona mans the Motor Pool and takes all the wagers on the Red Sox games……………. more to follow ……………….. I have to head to the Ale House to watch the second half of the Patriots game. They are hanging tough at the Meadowlands.

Hey if you make Sean Casey George Burns, I had BETTER be “Lieutenant” Margaret Houlihan!!!

Hey Dave, as long as the actors are now writing the plot for you, can I request that my character kill Hawkeye Pierce by “accident” as a subplot? Thanks. Oh, and in my mobile army surgical headquarters(is that what m.a.s.h. stands for Admiral Garry?) kitchen be equipped with a sous vide unit? Thanks again.

Good night to allof the Loyal Nationer Family….
**** Here we go guys… this is going to be nerve wracking.***
see you all tomorrow!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO FREAKIN’ BELIEVE!!

Major Arnie – MASH = Mobile Army Surgical Hospital.

Thanks Admiral! Sir!

Oh, and Dave, since I’m pretty serious about my acting and , well…..I’m an artist, you know,,, and I was thinking that the other actors and I could really nail our parts if there was a way we could create an atmosphere of angst and existential gloom. To that end I suggest one character be a morphine addict…. yea, a hermaphrodite midget morphine addict. Nothing creates the emotional impact of a hopeless, tragic addiction paired with social stigma. I’m sure you agree. Thanks from all the crew!!!

A hermaphrodite midget morphine addict? Arnie, I think you’re approaching Dave on the sicko scale. Next you’re going to tell me you have Roseanne’s telephone number programmed into your cell phone, and that her picture comes up when she calls you! Now what none of us want to know is what Roseanne might be calling you for.

Yup, Roseanne on speed dial with her picture and a recording of her Star Spangled(mangled?) Banner. But I only call that # if I’ve eaten too much and I need a purgative. Fortunately that never happens.

O.K. Here is the MASH cast so far:

Lugo – Klinger
Francona – Rizzo of the motor pool
Gary — Hawkeye (that work O.K. Gary?)
Tim Wakefield – Father Muchay (sp)
Dustin Pedroia – Radar
Cook – Arnie
Margaret – Ellen
Casey – Donald Penopscot
Migrane – Frank Burns
Bosoxbrian – B.J. Hunnicut
Henry Blake – Theo Epstein (I can have fun with this one)
Pangelotti – patient from Toledo Ohio who knows Klinger
Jody Foster — babe nurse

Dave, one more thing: I know MASH was originally set in Korea, but I’m thinking that we could shoot our remake in downtown Newark NJ. More authentic as a war zone and we’d save tons of $$$ on flights. Sure, some of that money would be spent on extra security, and we’d need different translators, but overall I think it’s a much better choice.

O.K. Arnie. You got me curious. Why Newark of all places. In fairness I know little of the town outside of stereotypes. Fill me in. Also Arnie, need some MASH type recipies. Some take on creamed corn and oatmeal and powdered eggs.

Dave, Newark has all the challenges of a city ravaged by war: bombed out buildings all around, glassy eyed residents shuffling about attending to their gruesome tasks, government food, gunfire at all times of day and night, smoke from cars on fire. But Newark lacks any redeeming value whatsoever. Nada. Zilch. No reason to be there unless you are on assignment or are a hopeless resident with no way out. In short, it’s perfect as a setting for a comedy amidst the horrors of war. (Not that I have anything against Newark, mind you)

As far as recipes, well….. creamed corn, oatmeal and powdered eggs are self-explanatory. Open the can or add water. Now maybe we can get creative….. say creamed corn and chipped beef smoothies over oatmeal matzo balls with evaporated milk, dehydrated cheddar and freeze dried onion reduction. That might do.

Dave, now that we are collaborating on this project, I’ve spoken with my agent Scott Boras. (ZAZU calls him Scotty Bee; isn’t that cute!) he was suggesting I fax over a little agreement he came up with (he’s so smart, he never misses a thing!) anyway, he says I should get a little percentage of the gross profits and royalties. Just a little! I’ll fax it over and you can have your people get with my people on it. Thanks!!!

Garry, I think you’re right. I’m sliding into the abyss of Dave-Concsiousness. HELP!!!!

ellenc: I am new :)

For a long time, I have made an observation about tag outs in baseball that is relevant to the Pedroia “tag out” on Overbay at second in the 9th inning. My observation is most frequent when runners are caught attempting to steal second, or are picked off at first, but it also appears to be in effect when runners are tagged out on the basepaths at throws from the outfield.

The observation is this–if the throw to the base beats the runner and the man making the play gets his glove down before the runner reaches the bag/plate, the runner is usually called out, EVEN IF HE TOUCHES the bag/plate BEFORE being tagged. It’s almost as if the umpire is judging the “spirit” of the throw/tag, rather than the actual tag itself. It’s like an unspoken rule of the game: if the throw is on target and the player catching the ball gets the glove down before the runner arrives at the bag/plate, he’s out, even if the tag is never really applied or the runner touches the bag/plate before the tag is applied.

Infrequently I’ve seen violations of this rule. But those are rare exceptions.

Any comments?

Yea, Ron, I’ve seen the same thing. If the throw beats you, you better have some fancy move or get lucky with the call because you are going to be called out even if the fielder misses the tag. Even some of the announcers talk about it and they watch a whole lot more baseball than I do. So if they see it, there must be a pattern. Same with the SS on a double play at second. So many times they don’t step on second base but they are near the bag so the umps give them the call. I even heard Tony Kubek defend that saying that it saved the SS injuries! I think you should be required to touch the base. Same with called strikes. If it’s a strike call it. If it’s a ball call that. Doesn’t matter if the pitcher hit the catcher’s mitt. If the pitch missed the plate it was a ball. You’ve got a good point, Ron.

Hey BosoxBrian:

I’m not sure what it is you want me to say, other than the refs stole the game from the Buckeyes!?!?!?!?!?! Resume drinking your Stohli.

At least I got the Sox objective correct: If they go 8-5 the remainder of the way, and win 96 games (30 wins over .500), they eliminate every other pretender from the Wild Card. With 7 home games remaining (4 vs. Cleveburg and 3 vs. the Yanks after the Yanks are eliminated from play-off contention), that shouldn’t be hard to accomplish. It sure would be nice to have Dice-K finally regain his form and pitch a beaut tonight. Four games between the White Sox and the Yanks at Yankee Stadium. Two things should happen: Jeter should surpass Gehrig in number of hits in that stadium, and one of those teams should be eliminated from play-off consideration.

As I count the way the rotation falls for the remainder of the season, Lester should get 2 more starts, hopefully go to 17-5, with the 2nd start coming in the final Cleveburg game, making him ready to go in Game 1 of the 1st play-off series. He seems to be in the place where Beckett was last year. Lets go Sox!

The Sox won by playing small fundamental baseball and aided by the blown call by the 2d base ump. If Ellsbury was left stranded at third in the 1st, what would possibly be the outcome of the game? One run made a huge difference. I believe Tito learned what he didn’t do in the Rays series. For the Sox to win the divison and the WS, the key is that the Sox must be able to win close game like yesterday. Papelbon unofficially blew another one! I hope it is just temporary agisnt a hard hitting lineup.

Bob Kramer:
Congrats on the Phillies who have tied the wc and just a game out of the NLE. The Phillies were 3 games out when we spoke last time. The Mets have horrendous bullpen. The diviison title is quite a distinct possibility.

Dbenjamin,

I have won so much money betting against Ohio State in big games, I might send you some expensive stuff. LOL!!

I personally would send Beckett to the mound for game 1. Assuming from here on everything with him is o.k. His resume’ in Oct. is the best among active starting pitchers!

Brian:
It’s gonna to be another Alka Selzer tonight. The Sox must be able to take advantage of every opportunity by advancing runner and scoring on an out. When you take care of a little thing, a big hit will follow. Yesterday’s game was a prime example. A single run will be big against Kazmir.
What you say, 2 out of 3? Beck against Sonnenshine and Wake against Garza who is on short rest.
Beck or Lester, Dice-K can only be Game 3 starter.

Dave I looked up the character list for M*A*S*H for the correct name and spelling for you: 1st Lieutenant/Captain Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy… now there is a mouthful

007chow, It’ll be an alka seltzer night for you and a Grey Goose night for Brian!! lol (maybe Brian can use the alka seltzer as a mixer!!)

oh, dave GREAT casting job making Sean Casey-Donald Penobscott!!! You’re always looking out for me!!!

007…

I’m with about Dice-K tonight. I say Boston will take 2 out of 3 from T.B.

The pitching match in TB doesn’t look all that bad — we need to prove we can take this series, but I still think winning the division (even if we come out ahead 1 game or tied) will be very tough, and we might lose it again during the last series with the Yanks.

There is no way we will be up by three games entering that series, and just as the Yankees did us a favor taking 2/3 — they will be loose and motivated to spoil our division title (if it is still within reach) — so I don’t think that series will be “easy” at all, unless the play-offs berth are already settled by then.

Regardless, if Josh Beckett comes around, we should have be really strong for the Playoffs, with Josh and Jon being our 2 strong horses. But who do you can count on after that (Dice-K, Wake, Bryd, Colon?) to take one or two games, should we drop a W with Josh or Jon?

At this point, my biggest concern about the post season is our closer, he has shown vulnerability pretty much all year. Looks like a 2 run lead is proven not safe right now, and neither is a 3 run lead. We may have a alarming problem here for the post season. If I were the Manager, since I don’t have the guts that Francona has, I probably would start grooming Masterson for this position. I really have doubts that Paps can hold it during the post season.

Any ideas what is wrong? Papelbon certainly hasn’t been overworked this year.

Whew! I’m feeling better this morning after my bout with Dave-itis last night. Normal again, or as near as I can get to it.

Sox went 4 and 3 on their first leg of the rays, jays rays, jays extravaganza. Not bad considering that the devilrays are touched by Stardust this year and the Jays came into Fenway smoking hot. This series will be tough but I have to like the Sox chances. I’m hoping Dice-K can reach deep for that extra something he has at times and shut the d-rays down. If the Sox can get Kazmir’s pitch count up they can set up a good series by getting into the bullpen. One thing for sure, this will be good for getting the team ready to go up against the best come playoff time, no sleepwalking through the last 2 weeks.

Papelbon is the concern. I wonder if he is physically fine. Pap was told to throw more fast balls to cut down on his pitch counts. A good team can hit his 96 mph fast balls. I guess if he mixes his splitters with fast balls, he may be fine. Maybe. If the Sox didn’t score that run in the first and second by playing ABC ball, Pap would have blown another save.

007,
Thanks for yours on the Phillies. I did not expect a sweep. They now face the Braves(6), Marlins(3), and Nationals(3)while the Mets face the Braves(3), Marlins(3), Nationals(4), and the CUBS(4).

Arnie & Dave,
Downtown Newark is actually not all that bad. The carnage of the “war”/poverty starts three or four blocks from Broad Street and is also evident in the other lesser known NJ cities of Atlantic City, Camden, Elizabeth, Hackensack, Jersey City, and Paterson. I worked in all of them from 1962 to 1967 and knew the worst sections intimately. Details by direct E-mail if you like.

Of course none of this matters, but in my self-funded lottery before the All-Start break, I picked the SOX to recover in the 2nd half and take the division with a record of 97-65.

If the SOX win every remaining series, and drop only 1 game per series, they will end with that record.

Funny thing is, that looks more do-able than actually winning the series. Looks like between the two teams (Rays and Soxs) — whoever can win all their remaining 4 series – takes the title — and if the SOX win the last head-to-head meeting by only one — and then we both win the remaining series, dropping only 1 per series, we end in a tie — but Tampa will take the title due to their better record within the division.

So if we really want the title, we have to sweep them, or hope that someone else takes two against them in the final three series (unlikely) — or we sweep the Toronto, Cleveland, or Yanks series — only one of which looks remotely possible?

Great to have challenge to tune you for the playoffs.

Thanks for the Newark update, Robert K. Last time I was through there it was pretty bad. So glad it has improved. Maybe we should switch the shoot to Paterson?? How about Detroit? Please advise us.

Anyway, the Sox should be on a mission these last two weeks. Take the division title and at least face someone at home. That would be my goal. Both the Angels and rays will be tough, but of the 2 the rays look to be tougher. They could put the bat-boy up in a crucial situation late in the game and he’d hit a home run. It’s unreal.

Red Sox Lineup:
1. Coco Crisp, CF
2. Dustin Pedroia, 2B
3. David Ortiz, DH
4. Kevin Youkilis, 1B
5. Mike Lowell, 3B
6. Jason Bay, LF
7. Jed Lowrie, SS
8. Jason Varitek, C
9. Jacoby Ellsbury, RF

What you’ve all been waiting for: MASH baseball.

“Dear Dad. Hawkeye Gary here. It’s been a few days since my last letter to you but nothing has changed. The wounded keep coming and coming and it seems like there’s nothing to stop it. Shrapnel like I’ve never seen and now that it’s just weeks before the playoffs…we’re working day and night. I just want to be home right now with you but I’m stuck here until the season ends and it is a war…no matter how they try to sell it back home. Newark New Jersey…a town that …well, we’re certainly glad we have Arnie here.
We’re baseball surgeons and we use the spam and creamed corn surgery – patch em’ up and get em’ out. We have no time for refinements. We have no time for fancy techniques. When those choppers land…we move in. Well I’m proud to say that we have a 97% survival rate. Have to go dad…with love…Gary.”
It was late that night as the men and women of the MASH unit are called into surgery once again doing what they do best under horrific conditions. Those include hot temperatures, unwashed clothes and Frank Burns Migrane’s whine. In addition the Boras album pipes through the speakers. Ever heard Boras’s rendition of “Bridge Over Troubled Water?” It ain’t pretty…but neither is Klinger Lugo in a wet suit eating his curds and whey.
“Blasted…this has more shrapnel than I could have ever imagined. How do they expect me to work under these conditions…Radar!” said Coronal Theo Epstein Henry Blake III ½.
Radar Pedroia arrived with sweat giving his white surgical gown and tool belt and sticky gray color. He looked frazzled and his hand was wrapped in bandages but like a true trooper…he played through the pain.
“Yes sir…what does the…”
“How’s the bone chip in your left leg and the dislocated shoulder?”
“Fine sir but the damaged kidney is a problem along with the black lung but I’m OK. I’m tough and I can take it.”
Theo Henry was like a hero to Radar Dustin Pedroia.
“Sorry to burden you Radar but I need gloves!”
Radar Pedroia was the go-to guy. The guy you needed for the clutch hit. He was the one who you counted on when the rest of the team folded like an accordion in an orchestra that was off-key and playing French Partridge family music with Danny Bonaduce beating up the audience while setting the stage on fire during a rainstorm. Ya…that was Radar.
“Blasted…I lost a piece of shrapnel. I hate this game. I hate it.”
“Pipe down Migrane Burns…you’re giving my feet athletes headache. “
“Don’t mind him Theo. Migrane works best when he’s an idiot, “said Hawkeye. Hawkeye Gary was a quirky sort of fellow. He was like the hero that would save an entire ship of passengers during a driving hurricane while cannonballs struck the deck and poison darts came within inches of his skin while both his legs were cut up from knife wounds and he hadn’t slept for a week and lived on table scraps and drank dirty water to survive. Ya…that was Hawkeye Gary.
“Shut up Gary…not now. Radar…what are we short of anyway!”
It was a wonder to morale why was as high as it was considering how Theo Gary managed the situation. He was a nice guy but somewhat incompetent. He’d trade the best surgeon in the game and then sign up Migrane as a replacement because he liked his I.V. technique. Henry was like the guy that would run a science experiment in the garage and set it on fire using a bucket of gasoline he thought was water. He would get the fire extinguisher and then realize it was a can of spray paint. He would then grab a blanket and try to put it out but discover it was a rare Persian rug that he mixed up with cheap carpeting. That was Henry.
“Well sir…titebond glue, gorilla glue, epoxy, laminate, rubber gloves, 120 grit sandpaper, shellac, and f- clamps.”
“Boy oh boy, “snapped Henry Blake Theo Epstein. “Radar…do they think I’m an idiot or something!”
“You said it sir…I didn’t.”
Henry slammed the wall. “How do they expect us to fix all these maple baseball bats up without the right supplies!”
“Sir…”
“What Radar!”
Radar Pedroia walked closer. “Ah…a double header tomorrow.”
“Radar, “snapped Henry. “Contact Rockler and Woodcraft. See if you can get an emergency order…now!”
“Sir…if you ask me…” said Margaret.
“I didn’t, “snapped Theo.
“Sir…Donald and I haven’t had a weekend off in a month and I’m…I’m bored here.”
“I can fix that, “interjected Hawkeye.
“Really this is a peaceful and tranquil setting. Don’t knuckle under to his advances Margaret.”
That was Father Tim Knuckles Wakefield. He used his knuckles more than anything to solve problems. Having no fingers made that a necessity. He picked up books with his knuckles and ate food with his knuckles and heard the cries of pain from everyone in the unit while holding their knuckles. That was Father Tim – the knuckle man.”
“My bat is done!”
“Migrane, “snapped Hawkeye. “That bad looks like you had no clue how to glue up maple. Didn’t you even sand it down with 120 grit sandpaper or chisel out the proud spots…or check the grain patterns. In addition your stain job looks awful. You didn’t remove the glue and because of the differential in the porous surfaces, you can clearly see the glue marks. That bat goes to David Ortiz Migrane and the last time he spent weeks here from a wrist sprain!”
“Cut it…all of you, “shouted Margaret Ellen. It’s a double header tomorrow and we can’t knuckle under and whine…”
“Ah with all respect Father Tim!”
Father Tim nodded. He set up an orphanage and established a world relief fund while helping the sick and ailing. He would never sleep if someone needed his aid. Some called him…Saint Tim and he deserved that option. He was a saint. A saint to us all. All who knew Tim knew what a saint he was…often abandoning food for salvation. He lost his fingers rescuing fifteen children from a burning fire but going back to rescue their pet Rattle snake enduring seventeen bites in the fingers to rescue the beloved snake in the family…ya that was Father Tim.
“Sir…more wounded, “shouted Kinger Lugo. He was dressed in a purple and pink prom dress with rosy red lipstick and torpedoes launched from his chest. He had a beautiful blonde wig and high heals.
“Crossdresser Klinger…no more bats!”
“Wounded Sir. Zazu is complaining of knee pain but isn’t sure which one hurts and can’t play the Mariners this weekend.”
The silence echoed through the room. Dr. Epstein then said, “O.K….give him away to L.A. but give him a ten million dollar raise and let him slug Father Tim to the ground to vent his anger. That should show him.”
Nobody said anything but Hawkeye Gary said, “Theo Henry. How is it possible you can be a leader and make such stupid moves!”
Theo Henry said nothing.
“O.K…how about we…ah…we trade Josh Beckett for Taravez…that’s a good move right?”
A stranger walked into the room and everyone froze.

TO BE CONTINUED

I see the Brew crew fired their manager Yost… Guess who the new skip is??? Our old 3rd base coach Dale Sveum!!! Good luck to him!

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dave, you’re one crazy b—–d!

Is anyone besides me concerned as I watch my little retirement fund dwindle away to nothing as the stock market dwindles into oblivion? Does anyone find it a little disheartening to see gas prices go up by 40 cents a gallon in some cases, while oil has continued to drop in price? Arnie, you got a spare cheeseburger or something around?

The Rays come home after a lengthy road trip. Usually teams after a long trip come out flat the first game. Let’s hope Boston jumps them early tonight. Boston has been in these big series/games before and we all know the outcome is good. T.B. is playing there biggest series in the history of the franchise. Let’s hope T.B. feels the pressure not only tonight but thru the entire series.

Dale Sveum… one of the worst 3rd base coaches ever!! Keep waving them in Sveum, Baldelli has a pretty good arm. lol. Sveum held a runner up and got a standing ovation from the Fenway faithful. Second thought Wendell Kimm was pretty bad as well and Renee Lacheman. Mike Cubbage who was under Grady Little did pretty good. DeMarlo Hale, o.k. but for some reason he sends Lowell alot. Lowell isn’t any faster than my car when it is parked. LOL!!

Garry…

No Migrane and Staats for me. lol. Sorry to inform you.

The MASH piece is truly a masterful masterpiece, Dave!!! You’ve done it again… Great Job. Can’t wait for teh nect installment.

Hey Garry, How would you like a nice bowl of DevilRay Chowdah??? I think the 1st serving will be ready about 7:30, 2nd, 3rd through 9th servings to follow in a timely manner.

I remember how Sveum used to send Ol Speedy Zazu every time!
Too bad he’s not at Tampa!
Speaking of Tampa…..
BEAT THE DEVILRAYSDEVILRAYSDEVILRAYS!!!!!!
IDO BELIEVE, IDO BELIEVE, IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!
LET’S GO REDSOX, LET’SGO!!!! CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Kazmir throws 8 pitches and walks Crisp and Pedroia!!!

Kazmir is all over the place. I think he is feeling the pressure!

BIG PAPI!!!!! Nice…. 3-0!!!!

That’s the Ortiz we all know and have loved over the years!
That ball was crushed!

Awesome story Dave!!!! So glad your wife let you out of the penalty box!

The Red Sox are off to a great start. Kazmir sucks so far. MIKEY!

MIKEY!!!! Nice 4-0!!!

Kazmir is getting lit up!

Thanks for everyone’s comments. Had a long weekend with a lot of projects and my daughter is just struggling on math tonight with a battery of tears. It’s just heartbreaking and I’m so glad to be appreciated. It means a lot. Really it does. More to come!

Dave…

Kazmir is amped up. He took the mound as if he was a linebacker going after the q.b.

Way too go Boston! Jumping out early.

IDO, IDO, IDO, IDO BELIEVE!!!

Anybody think Dice-K can hold a 4-0 lead?

Be effective Dice-K!!!

This is typical…. strike out 2, walk6.. CRANIECTOMY TIME!!!!

In Dice-K’s defense, he had Pena on a pitch at the knees right over the plate. Should have been three outs right there. But also, he has to buckle down and get the out after Pena gets his bloop hit.

The way the DEVILRAYS have been playing I think we are going to need some more runs to back up Matsuzaka…

The Sox spot Dice-K to a four run lead and he’s out there screwing around with 3-2 counts after getting ahead 0-2 on hitters. Then it takes a great play by Youk on a rocket by Floyd to bail him out of the inning.

I thought the warning by the home plate ump was appropriate in that the pitch was pretty high and in. I wouldn’t put it beyond a pitcher to whack someone intentionally after the way he was whacked around by the Sox.

The move on which Kazmir picked off Ellsbury was a balk. His right leg went beyond the line from the mound to first base and at that point he must go home with the ball. A call that is never made. Ellsbury would have had a better chance if he kept going.

Dice-K has to come out this inning and keep his pitch count down.

Hey Arnie, is the Devil Ray Chowdah about ready? I’m wasting away to nothing.

Hey Brian ….. no Migrane …… you S-U-C-K-!

New thread.

I can here Migrane complaining from here.

New thread>>>

Much better inning for Dice-K. Maybe he’s settling in.

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