Closing Time

Sorry I haven’t been around the last few days. I needed some time to decompress. I’m sure most of you feel the same way.

At any rate, I just wanted to thank all of you for keeping the comments section lively all season. It was an entertaining year to say the least.

This year’s group was extremely classy, and I have to thank all of you for that.

I’ll still be around in the winter, so keep stopping by Brownie Points.

It figures to be another fascinating offseason.  Have a great weekend.

Ian.

70 Comments

I have never opened up an entry so this was too good to resist. Wow, such power and such control (LOL)
Well, hey everyone, did you see last night’s game. The Rays are the scrappiest team I’ve ever seen. They refuse to die. I couldn’t believe it.
Arnie — great food. You keep me busy and my kid’s bellies full.
Ellen — keep reading. I’ve been straying away from the novel to finish another project. I may have fantastic news but I’ll tell everyone about it when it gets closer to fruition perhaps March.
I just read some great articles in the Boston Globe about the Sox and the offseason. It’s a tough call because a lot depends on the health of Ortiz, Lowell, Lowrie and Ellsbury as well as Beckett. What will the Sox be like with a healthy team? Tough to say.
Look forward to your comments. Have had a great blast with you guys and look forward to you getting me through this winter.

Also want to say how much everyone has meant to me on this blog. I think Ian has read some of my crazy stories. I got the hint of “entertaining to say the least.” I will write more as inspiration comes up.

Ian, you have provided a great place for Sox fans to converse about the Sox, baseball, and as you may have noticed, a wide variety of other subjects. The blog has also fostered the development of some new and good friendships. I’m guessing that none of us have ever met in person, but I know if any of these folks showed up at my front door, they’d be more than welcome in my home. I think most others here feel the same way.

On a personal note, I would like to get email addresses of any of you willing to provide them. I have Brian, Jeff and Dave. It would be a shame to lose contact in the event Ian decided to move on to bigger and better things. You can get your email address to me at gsm52@comcast.net in the event you don’t want to publish it to the whole world. Thanks!

Dave, you are a trip. I’m not sure anyone knows where that trip is going to wind up, but I’m sure a ton of fun will be had along the way.

Arnie, do you eat all the stuff you cook? I’m thinking there’s an outside chance you could be bigger than me.

Ellen (Trixie), I think you need to conspire with Ravin’ Dave and Craig to come up with some new cheers for next season. I think you win 2nd prize for nickname of the year with Obe Wan Jacoby. Whoever came up with Zazu gets the big trophy. Now that I think of it, that may have been you too.

Brian, I think BSBGSM Inc. is in the red for the year. Retaining Dave for the whole season put us close to bankruptcy. Of course, there were those momentary lapeses into brilliance that you had that didn’t help either.

Ian…

Thanks for the great year here on “Brownie Points”. Everyone one on here has been great and is great. We all have a great passion for the Boston Red Sox and this just in, always will. Everyone on here seems too get along just great and I like that. We all have different opinions/views but we all respect each other’s viewpoint and that is important. Following the Red Sox is year round and I really enjoy reading everyone’s opinion on here. Keep up the good work everyone! Spring training will be here before you know it.

Gsm..

I wonder if BSBGSM Inc. can get in on the bailout? LOL!! Perhaps Boras can bail us out. He has more money than most banks.

Ian,
Many thanks for your great blog!! In my humble opinion this is the best major league blog out there. Get some rest and enjoy the time with your family.

Garry, look for that Boiled Dinner recipe soon. Also. I’ll send along a chocolate cake recipe for you. Really, I am slender. I’ve been blessed with a high metabolism.

Ellen, send me your email so I can send out a mass email with the various recipes. arnieschmo@yahoo.com

Brian and all the gang. A big thanks for all the fun we had this year. Looking forward to the hot stove and spring training!!

Arnie…

I agree very much when you said it is the best major league blog out there. I don’t think that is opinion….it is fact! It all starts with Ellen ( she is the warden on here ) You don’t mess with her, no way! If you mess with her, she’ll get you eventually. lol. Just kidding Ellen. Hope all is well in South Florida. Arnie is the one battling the cool/cold temps. Not us southern residents. lol. We also have one of the better Yankee fans on here as well. Kramer of course and he is also a Philly fan. Good luck Kramer with T.B. The Phillies need too start hitting with runners in scor. pos. If not they will lose. T.B. has really good pitching as you know. The Rays pitching gets tougher when guys are on base.

Dave, thanks to you, Ian’s blog has gone from merely entertaining to a “hoot”. Thanks.

Brian,
Thanks for the compliment! I hope the cold in Philadelphia can slow down those Rays. And just a few hits with RISP would make a big difference!

Ian, Thank You so very much!!
I don’t know if you realize just what a service you provide for all of us (and you keep me out of my husbands hair!!! lol). We can come on here and be the ROYAL ROOTERS!!! (from Tessie/FeverPitch) or we can come here and find some one else who is nursing the same bruises and bumps that we’ve gotten after a loss. All these guys have taken turns cheering me up this year, especially this past week. We do have a very diverse crew that have been brought together by a common interest. I have been here for a few years now and I can definitely say without hesitation, that this years Brownie Points Bloggers are far and away the Best Yet!!!!!
Garry. Phil (pangelotti)was the one that came up with Zazu… and I’ll work on the Cheers and a new
Cheerleading outfit!!!! woo-wooo!! (tonight I’ll be wearing my “jeer-leading” outfit!!!! gotta slow down those danm DEVILRAYSDEVILRAYSDEVILRAYS…)
Kramer: I’m rooting for the Phils with you!! Go PhilS!!!!Arnie.. easy enough ellencullum@bellsouth.net… and thanks for everything…
Dave:: What can I say.. you kept me insane!!!! For that I thank you, I love all the stories and your novel…
I was just thinking.. This is A BOSTON RedSox blog, right?? Do we have ANYONE on here that currently resides in Mass. or anywhere in NewEngland for that matter??? No wonder we are THE REDSOX NATION!!lol
Brian… Just remember, I’m keeping my eye on you… lol.
Love,
Warden Trixie

Ian… Do you know why Luis Alicea wasn’t brought back??? Did it have anything to do with Lugo’s double digit errors?? lol

Ian,
Thanks for this blog. Watching the Sox and blogging at the same time with the most knowledgeable fans I have ever known has made this a truly interesting year. It’s like we are all in a sports book watching together!!!! I look forward to the hot stove conversations, pitchers and catchers reporting and another great year with everyone in the blog family. I need the off-season to recover from all the rally positions Arnie told me to use on the couch!!!!!! They all worked except that last inning!!!!! Thanks everyone. WOOOOO WOOOOOOO IDO BELIEVE I DO BELIEVE Let’s Go Red Sox Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap. Talk to you soon!!!!

It’s Halloween and time for a Saw movie spoof. Enjoy!

SAW ZAW 1

The entire Red Sox crew were trapped inside a grungy, grimy, disgusting large boxlike room with wet and sticky concrete walls and a small tape recorder on the floor. Even Zazu was there as well.
Everyone woke up with a huff of mumbles.
?Ah?my back hurts, ?said J.D.
?Ah, my leg, ?said Josh Beckett.
?You?re leg, what about my leg you whiner, ?shouted Mike Lowell.
?What about my f#$#$ wrist, ?shouted Lowrie
?What about my back, ?shouted Tito!
?What about my wrist and groin, ?shouted Big Poppi.
?OK, ?shouted Zazu. ?All this whining is ruining my reputation. If anyone is going to whine around here, it?s me!?
?Shut up all of you, ?shouted John Farrell. ?There?s a tape recorder here. ?
A long pregnant pause filtered through the room. A dark canopy of sweat dripped down everyone?s face.
?Jigsaw puzzle, ?whispered Jacobe.
?It?s Jigsaw, ?screamed Coco. ?And I?m tired of you being so stupid all the time!?
?It?s Jigsaw, ?shouted Mike Lowell.
?Jigsaw Puzzle, ?retorted Jacobe. ?It used to be called Jigsaw but now it?s Jigsaw Puzzle. It says so on the tape recorder.?
?All right. Let?s stop acting stupid like Zazu ? no offense — and think, ?said Tito.
Another creepy pause swept across the room. John played the tape.
?Hello Red Sox team?and Zazu.?
Zazu gave a thumbs up and said, ?Go Migrane!?
?Shut up Zazu?now welcome to a chamber. Obviously it?s Halloween but unlike the movies, you?ll be living the game and this is a game ? DevilRays ha! ?
A sweeping hiccup of panic made everyone wet their pants. They knew who this was.
?Anyway, as you can see you have to get through that door opening?but it?s covered with thin wire. The saw zaw to cut the wire is located somewhere in the room. Can you help each other out as a team and save yourself.
?I?m Zazu, I?m no team player. It?s me that matters. Go Boras!?
Zazu quickly ran towards the door and found himself in the trap. Everybody watched calmly as his body fell into the trap. Smiles started to brim despite themselves.
?All right?everybody stop smiling. ? said Tito. ?I mean it Varitek. Stop smiling.?
After fifteen minutes the gang decided it was high time to focus on the problem at hand.
?OK, we have to find the?oh it?s right here, ?said Timlin before tripping over it and falling unconscience.
?This is getting very embarrassing!? said an angry Tito.
?Ha Devil Rays ?shouted through the loud speaker.
?Lugo, get the saw and cut our way through!?
Lugo went up to Tito, ?you want me?I know why. I?m expendable right! I?m the Loonie Lugo right!?
Everybody looked towards the ground. Lugo grabbed the saw zaw and started it up but it didn?t work.
?Hey this ain?t got a blade!?
?Du, ?shouted the entire crew.
Lugo found at outlet but it was far from the door.
?Lugo that?s not a ********, ?shouted Beckett.
?Hey?he took the blade out, ?shouted Bay. ?This guy is giving me the creeps!?
?Put the blade back in, ?screamed David Ortiz. ?Stop acting like an idiot!?
?How?? shouted Lugo.
?I miss Arnie?s cooking, ?cried Papelbon.
?I miss his?? said Cash before Tito interrupted. He grabbed the Saw Zaw and then grabbed the blade and put the thing together.
?Crap?no extension. Migrane you idiot. Why didn?t you make it cordless?
?An extension cord, ?said Lester. ?We?ll use an extension cord like this frayed up worn out bare wired one here.?
Francona walked over to Lester and hugged him before hitting him in the stomach.
?Why?d you do that! ?
Francona rolled his eyes.
?Everybody look for a healthy extension cord that has the insulation on it!?
?I got it, ?shouted Dice-K before being getting a massive electric shock.
Francona then said, ?all right, everybody find a healthy extension cord with insulated ends?not bare wires!
?Got one, ?shouted the first base coach. ?Guess you can FIRE ME NOW!?
Francona walked away. He ran the saw and cut the wire.
He turned around and said, ?nobody goes out!?
He threw the saw on the ground past the door. It looked clear.
$$$
Two hours later Migrane was nowhere to be found. Francona sat in his home in Boston and sighed.
?Wait till next year. Oh Migrane, wait till next year.?

Hi everyone (all that’s here anyway)!!
I went to sleep kind of early last night> I was watching something, cant remember what, any way I fell aslepp and woke at about 1:30am… I sat up and what was on??? FEVER PITCH!!!!! As a RedSox fan you just GOTTA LOVE that movie!!! I just thought it was kind of ironic….

I heard that Toronto may be interested in ZAZU. I guess if they paid him in US Dollars they might be saving some money with the exchange rate the way it is. However since Boras is his agent, he may get a better deal having him sign with Chavez. ZAZU for one oil well. If that deal comes to pass, we might want to see what Chavez will give for Lugo.

I watched fever pitch as well, I also thought it was interesting timing.

I went to a Uconn football game today, the Cincinnati Bearcats were in town. and guess who was there, wearing a Cincinnati Bearcats hat? None other than YOUK!

I was excited.

Looks like the umps are having a bit of a hard time seeing plays this series.

I echo the sentiment about this being a great blog, even if it means agreeing with BosoxBrian!!!!!(lol). Yes, I know Brian, the Bucks will be lucky to be in the Top 20 this year with last night’s loss, and will be headed to the “Toilet Bowl” for their post-season game. The defense played well last night against Penn State…and the offense just needs to mature. Just goes to demonstrate you never know when your last trip to the Championship game will be. I’m sure Laurinitis and his teammates felt, even after they were humiliated by LSU, “we’ll be back next year,” with all of the returning veterans and the favorable schedule. I hope for the Rays sake, they don’t make the same mistake and take this opportunity too lightly. If you go back to 2002, the Angels won the World Series as the AL Wild Card winner, and had a bunch of 20-somethings who had some pretty good years that year: Adam Kennedy, Troy Glaus, David Eckstein, Garrett Anderson…players who would go on to all have respectable careers, not to mention young pitchers by the names of John Lackey, Troy Percival and Francisco Rodriguez. They still have the same, highly-regarded manager, yet somehow, they’ve only made it back to the ALCS once since then, even with all of the tinkering they have done with their team, and even with the continual procession of young talent, particularly pitchers, that has made its way to the big-league club. So Tampa Bay, don’t presume that success will be yours in the future as a given. As the Sox demonstrated this year, lots of things, including injuries and a disgruntled player attitude, can get in the way…never mind players who are solely focused on the $$$$

For anyone interested, my e-mail address is dmbenjatty@yahoo.com, although I do expect to continue to communicate with this blog site, particularly as the “Hot Stove” league begins to heat up. Its ironic. Over the “hot stove” season last year, we were talking about keeping Mike Lowell and trading Jon Lester. I suspect the reverse will occur this year. I recognize that Lowell’s and CoCo’s trade values will probably be significant over the Winter, but it will disappoint me to lose either of them…they are both quintessential team players…particularly CoCo, who has battled through some significant personal adversity (including substantial amounts of poor play at the plate) to deliver on numerous occasions.

BosoxBrian and I have talked a lot about Salty and Taylor Teegarden, catchers with the Rangers whom the Sox are likely to pursue. Another catcher I wouldn’t overlook is Kelly Shoppach…he is only 28..and is turning into a fine, every day catcher for the Indians. The Indians have a big hole at 3rd base, having let Casey Blake leave for the Dodgers, and with Andy Marte not turning out the way he was heralded (who they got from the Sox along with Shoppach for CoCo), although I’m not sure they would want to spend as much as Lowell makes on a 34 year old 3rd baseman. They do need to insert some serious “pop” into their line-up, with the way the Victor Martinez and Travis Hafner’s performances fell off this year, and their left field fence was created along the idea of Fenway’s left field Wall…meaning Lowell doubles country.

The Sox don’t seem intrigued by the thought of bringing former players back (Schilling notwithstanding), so I suspect the chances either Shoppach or Derek Lowe will return are limited. But I have to say, Shoppach is turning into the catcher the Boston faithful predicted he would be. It would make for an interesting possibility.

One more week, and the focus changes to teams changing partners…I think it will be an interesting time.

If you guys want to read some comical comments regarding the Sox this off-season go to the Red Sox Website and look at the article “Sox Have Few Needs This Offseason”. Scroll down to the bottom and they allow you to comment. All of a sudden this blog looks like a chatroom for people of genius. Really makes me appreciate the folks and their knowledge on this blog more than ever!!!

cfarnham04 — you just gave me a great idea for another spoof as we explore the continuing blogging of JOE and BETTY.

JOE
?Hey guys. It?s Joe the plumber from Fall River. Sox really need that right handed bat. Time to put back away bad ideas and get Zazu back. Trade David Ortiz and Josh Beckett ? who is washed up for Zazu to the Dodgers. Next get Reveira from the Yanks. Papelbon is a waste of resources.?
BETTY
?Hey Joe. Zazu can?t be traded. Just to let you know, his contract ran out. Also Zazu is an immature child. This is a bad idea. ?
JOE
?Betty as usual, you?re an idiot. LA will want to trade Zazu so let?s get him. In addition let?s get some pitching. Sox pitching is really bad. DiceK, Beckett (washed up), Lester (unreliable). I?d look at Lackey, CC and maybe Hanson from the Pirates. Trade Dice-k, Beckett and Lester for CC and maybe get Lackey with a trade of Pedroia. Pedroia can?t hit home runs.
BETTY
?Joe you have no idea how to find your own house at night do you? It?s obvious that Fall River plumbing schools also do lobotomies. ?
JOE
?Betty, thanks for the compliments. I really like it when you say nice things. I have always respected you. I?m going to be in town this weekend. We should go out and attend a gentlemen?s club and then we can watch ?Pee Wee?s big Adventure.?
BETTY
?Joe, you must have read the Klingon version of what I wrote. In English ? go away ? you?re scaring me.
JOE
?Betty Devil Rays are winning against the Phillies 6 ? 2. We should trade for some of these players. I also think a good deal for Schilling is in order. That man has got one more year in him and I think 25 million is cheap for a solid arm.
BETTY
?Joe the Rays are losing to the Phillies 6 ? 2 but it?s obvious when you drill holes in your brain after electric shock treatment sometimes things go wrong. Also want to mention that $25 million for Schilling is about as sane an answer as I?ve heard tonight and that alone scares me.
JOE
?Betty what about Dwight Evans? Can we get a few bats out of him. Ya he?s in his 90?s but he keeps in good shape. Maybe we could hire him to replace the pathetic Ortiz.
BETTY
?Joe, Dewey is not in his 90?s. Dewey is retired and can?t be traded but for the sake of insanity, let?s do a Joe moment. How about we get Teddy Williams and Ty Cobb on trade for George Washington.?
JOE
?Betty I had no idea those guys were still around. Awesome idea. I love you Betty.?
BETTY
?I?m hitting my head against the desk right now. When I?m done I?ll write back but it could be a while. ?
JOE
?Take your time Betty. I was just inflating my air mattresses with propane. Did you know Propane works really well!
BETTY
?Joe I can understand with your state of mind how that would make sense to you. Just to let you know propane will burn with a flame and air mattresses leak and will create a toxic environment for you in the tent.?
JOE
?Betty I do this every year and have no after effects. ?
BETTY
?Joe?I can see that.?

I agree that this offseason will be as exciting as any of year’s past. With Jake Peavy along with Mark Texeria heading the “big names” testing the market this offseason the Red Sox should be considered top bidders. Nonetheless, with Mike Lowell getting back next season with the Youka over at first and letting Big Papi heal over time I think puts us in the drivers seat in the AL East. The Rays are may be young and lucky, but their pay roll won’t allow to keep their players too long after they want big time long term deals. Cowdaheads unite this offseason and get ready for a great 2009 season!

Go Red Sox

Unbelievable! Phillies pitching completely shut down Upton, Pena, and Longoria. Rich Dubee said before the WS that The Sox made mistakes to the Rays. Surely, he did learn from the “mistakes”. Cole “Cool” Hamels is great but Myers, Moyer, and Blanton are no way close to being like Beckett, Dice-K, and Lester. And yet our top three pitchers were walloped by Upton, Pena, and Longoria. What did Farrell tell those pitchers before the game? Hire Rich Dubee as pitching coach. LOL

007,
Ya Rich Dubee sounds great but then again Jason Varitek also commanded the staff. What did he do wrong?
I was thinking about Zazu. I just read an article examining his career. Couple of tidbits — Cleveland had him examined for ADD. Zazu apparently can be very generous in money and time but it’s all well published. I would conclude a few things about him.
1) Zazu loves attention. It’s what he lives for which expresses immaturity and insecurity despite his unbelievable hitting talent.
2) Zazu wants things his way. When he doesn’t get them his way he throws temper tantrums.
3) Zazu is incredibly disrespectful. He doesn’t give anyone his respect, he demands your respect. He demands to be the center of attention and when that ends he throws temper tantrums. Unfortunately baseball has created this beast because we have taken a blind eye to most of his antics and he’s been taught a lesson — produce and you can do what you want.
In short, Manny is both good and very bad for baseball. Manny is smart, charming and can be very appealing but he is also immature and childish and in any other field he would have been on the streets. In short, Manny found the right profession for his personality but will we see a dangerous Manny when he retires and the spotlight is no longer on him?

Dave, I think your thoughts about Manny are absolutely on tagert. I know about ADD/ADHD.. My husband has adult ADD, and it is a very mangeable condition.
I predicted it would be the Phils in Phive.. I hope I’m right!!!!
Hope everyones doing okay… I’ll be back later.
ec

Dave,
After I read your little skit I had to change my pants because I peed in them from laughing so hard!!!!!!!! My tears are just now drying up!!!! Ha Ha. Check this out….
HMMMMM….All we need is a little fine tuning so I think we should pick up Peavy, Halliday, Rivera, Burnett, CC Sabathia, Lee, Danks and maybe Cole Hamels for insurance. They will fit right in with Dice-K, Beckett and Lester. We can trade the whole infield for all the pitchers we are going to get because we won’t need infielders with this great staff. WE won’t need outfielders either. Let’s bring ZAZU, Lowe, Shoppach, Pedro, Mo Vaugn, Reggie Smith and Jimmie Foxx back to Boston. Here is my projected line-up for the Sox this year.

Ichiro DH
Holliday DH
ZAZU DH
Ryan Howard DH
A-Rod DH
Texiera DH
Soriano DH
Yastrzemski DH
Sabathia P

Sabathia hits better than anyone else we could out there!

Signed “Joe the Plummer”

I am still laughing at some of the comments on the news articles on the Sox Home Page!!!!!!! Just when I thought the off-season was going to be boring……

cfarnham04,
Glad you liked it. Sometimes when I get an idea I just run with it. That was pretty much written as-is with just one run through of the dialog. Fastest thing I ever wrote. Now we’ll have to do another one but of course like anything else, the skit works best with fresh characters. Maybe we’ll have Zazu pretend to be someone else — hmmm…that could be funny.
Ellen,
Thanks for the compliments. I’ve done a lot of writing so interpreting a character like Manny is getting easy for me. Hope all is well for you. Think of you guys all the time. You’re my extended electronic family here!
Dave…

I just went on and read some of the comments… It’s like they’ve taken “off-season trade amphetamines”… Jesus, lets just trade the whole freakin team!! according to them this team is in very dire straits.. Granted, we didnt make it to the Big Show, but I think we finished very respectably considering the injuries and illness (especially coming back from Japan with the Flu). I think they need to go to “Iwannatrade…. rehab!!

ANOTHER ADVENTURE WITH JOE, BETTY, and ZAZU

JOE
?Hey Betty. Just wound up in the hospital again. Doctors say the Christian right should use me to disprove Darwin?s theory of evolution. You know what. I called them and they hung up on me. Can you beat that? Anyway, will be in the hospital again. Doctors say the Christian right should use me to disprove Darwin?s theory of evolution. Anyway, the Rays are one win away ? Go Rays!?
BETTY
Joe, you repeat sentences now. Just an FYI. Rays by the way are one loss away from the World Series. Joe?I?m afraid to ask but how did you end up in the hospital?
ZOOZOO
?Sorry to interrupt you guys but I?m ZOOZOO. Just wanted to mention how much I love this board. I am really excited about Zazu and his chances next year. Boy any team would be great to have his amazing talents. I think $25 million per year is too little for such a great talent. What do you think??
JOE
Hey Betty. I had a slight accident. I was doing a hunting trip for deer and I got some fake deer horns and just started walking through the forest in brown fury clothes to attract the deer. That probably wasn?t a good idea. Anyway, the hunter apologized and we lit a fire but it was rainy and I used some gunpowder to get the fire going. That was a great fire minus the third degree burns and forest fire. Anyway go Rays!
BETTY
Joe, can you call your mom or Dad and get yourself committed to some mental institution in the Antarctic or just go there for a while. I?ll pay for the one way trip.
ZOOZOO
Hey why isn?t anyone talking to me? This is ZOOZOO. I?m just so excited about Zazu. He is truly a player that just makes me wet my pants I?m so excited when I see him play. What a bat and what a talent.
JOE
Aw Betty I just accepted a job at the fireworks factory. I really don?t have time for this.
BETTY
Joe, I am speaking in real simple talk here ? call the fireworks factory back and tell them you haven?t had enough time on the toilet seat and need to talk to them later. They?ll understand. Then buy a really small table saw and a dull blade and start cutting two inch maple. If the blade is stuck just push it some more. Don?t be afraid to get your hands in there.
ZOOZOO
?Hey guys. I just love Zazu. He is the best player to come along in the game since the stuff of Ted Williams who is a real hack compared to Zazu. Now someone $DF234 write back to me because I?m getting angry.
BETTY
ZooZoo, please, it?s embarrassing. Everyone knows your Zazu so please end this love affair with yourself. It?s just really weird. Now sit on a toilet seat next to Joe?s Table Saw while he?s doing some cutting. I would really appreciate it.
JOE
Betty, I got the table saw and wouldn?t you know it. I?m back in the hospital again. I lost my job at the Fireworks factory. That job pays like $20.00 per hour with benefits. They say they really have a hard time getting people for it. I?m depressed.
BETTY
Joe, don?t worry. What you need to do now, when you get out of the hospital is to start an inside fire. If you don?t have a fireplace, so much the better. Just get tons of wood and some gasoline (that?s safer than gunpowder) and light it. Talk to you?well if I don?t it was fun.

Ellen,
That was hysterical commentary. I love the ‘let’s just trade the whole team’ I was laughing outloud. Let’s send them all to Iwannatrade rehab. Terrific!

This may be the most lacklustre World Series in history. TV ratings are down 25% and there just isn’t much of a national following for either of these teams. Add to that the fact that the baseball has been something less than stellar, the weather in Philly has been awful, and the games are starting too late, and you have all the makings for lifetime fans of the game switching to Law and Order repeats.

Once again, as the post season drags on toward November we see that games played in northern cities as winter approaches aren’t fun to watch, and certainly can’t be fun for the players to play. I don’t think I’ve ever seen winter baseball hats with earflaps before. All of this is done to squeeze every possible nickel out of the schedule and in my opinion, it is ruining the game. If I were a player, I would have been really angry to have been forced to play in those conditions last night. I read this morning where Bud Selig said the game was going to be played to nine innings no matter what happened. So under any circumstances, that means the game was not going to be called due to rain. It was going to be suspended, no matter what the score was.

The final game of the Red Sox – Rays series was the highest rated baseball game in the history of cable television. It got higher ratings than any of the World Series games so far.

Garry,
The only reason the Rays tied it was because the conditions on the field were so deplorable it was next to impossible for the Phillies to defend whatever that swamp was that they were calling a field. In my opinion the Phillies won that game and it is a crime to allow that run into the score considering the conditions. The Rays got a real break.
Now that it is tied it’s a messy situation for both teams. The field just won’t return to magic conditions after the rain stops and right now we’re talking snow showers on Tuesday and Wednesday so the most logical day of play is Thursday night.
Man I can see a spoof of this where they’re playing in snow and suffering from frostbite and battling injuries because of the conditions of the weather. How can you see the ball when it’s snowing out?

I was watching that game, too, and the players looked miserable. How can you catch a fly ball when the rain is in your eyes as you’re looking up? You think they could finish the game in St Pete with the Phillies being the home team for just the final 3 innings? That’s a stupid question, I know. Hey, did you guys get my email? Or did it end up in the “trash mail”?

Dave, I guess you might end up with a cricket ball being used so the red will show up in the snow :-)

A personal point of view, picking up on something Garry said about times, is that it would be nice if the game times were staggered. Ok, I suppose that there are relatively few of us outside the USA compared to the home fans, but there are still quite a few of us who enjoy the game and an 8pm ET start generally precludes Europeans from watching the games. It would be good if one of the first four games could be afternoon or early evening local time to give us a chance to watch, particularly, as I understand, a stated aim of the commissioner is to expand the appeal of baseball.

How long before pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training?

Alistair

This is an hysterical spoof of Game 6
WHY BUD SEIGEL IS AN IDIOT.

Good evening. I?m Tim McCarver and this is my co-host Jerry Remy who knows a ggggoood bribe when he see it. Welcome to the fifth?gggammme of the 2008 Wwworld Series. It?s blizzard conditions with an ice storm but Bud Siegel has insssisted that we play bbbaseball no matter what.
Jerry Remy intercedes and said, ?We wwould have starting lineups but the paper?keeps getting frozen over with snow and ice we so have nnno iiiidea who?s on the field. Temperature is minus 20 and dddroppping. Baseball will be played.?
Tim McCarver said, ?players from both sides are dressed in full snow suits and rubber insulated boots. They write a ?D? or an ?P? so that?s how you telll them apart since there wasn?t enough tttime to make the artic uniforms.
Jerry Remy said, ?I think they are?will you please turn out the heat in here!?
Tim McCarver said, ?It?s at Max. They?re getting us more hhhheaters sooon. ?
Jerry Remy said, ?The players are going out on the field. I think it?s the Devil Rays but I ccan?t tell. The letters are sssmearing in the cccold?ah?heat!?
Tim McCarver said, ?it?s the Devil Rays all right. Oh thank goodness for heat. ?
Jerry said, ?I think it?s the first pitch but?he can?t see! He threw it at Carlos Pena. Oh my goodness. He couldn?t see. Carlos is down on the ground with a head injury!?
Tim McCarver said, ?it gets worse. Nobody can find Pena. He?s being buried under the snow!?
Jerry Remy said, ?they?re putting his replacement out there?on top of him. They?re not even trying to get him out.?
Jerry Remy said, ?who can blame him. You can?t even see out there. This is as stupid as keeping Zazu as long as we did!?
Tim McCarver said, ?oh here?s the second pitch?oh no. Both hitter and catcher are being carried off the field. The two minute delay gave them frost bite. They collapsed.?
Jerry Remy said, ?the outfield is tearing up seats from the stands with axes and setting fire to them to stay warm. The stadium is on fire and nobody seems to care as long as they stay warm. Those Rays are resourceful.?
Tim McCarver said, ?it?s what got them this far. Look even the infield is exploring that option setting fire to the dugouts just to stay warm.?
Jerry Remy said, ?That?s a good idea. Fires will melt the snow on the field. ?
Tim McCarver said, ?all the players are now out on the field burning everything in sight. They?re driving the golf carts out on the field and exploding them just to stay warm. What a good idea.?
Jerry Remy said, ?those Rays are resourceful and that?s why the ratings will probably be so high tonight.?
Tim McCarver said, ?oh look they made an effigy of Bud Seigel. Those guys are amazing.
Jerry Remy said, ?oh my, that?s not an effigy.?
Tim McCarver said, ?I think we have a full scale Devil Rays riot!?
Jerry Remy said, ?The Phillies are joining in. This is what baseball is all about?burning down the stadium to stay warm?what am I talking about??
Tim McCarver said, ?we?ll be back.

Very funny Dave!
I was watching the game last night and after they called it off, or whatever, I went out to check my mail. When I stepped out I thought, Oh, it stopped raining! Then I remembered it was raining in Phillie!

Thanks Arnie. I must confess I wrote it quickly. Probably could have used a rewrite or two but it was a lot of fun to write.
Dave…

Arnie, I got your email and boy that recipe looks Scrumptious…
What a ridiculous load of Crap Selig threw at Baseball fans everywhere!!! That game should have been stopped in the 3rd.. They let Hamels go out and waste 15-20 pitches…
I think that baseball has become so commercialized that Selig LET it go on hoping the DEVILRAYSDEVILRAYSDEVILRAYS would score… that way he was off the.. AND I think they need to play some afternoon games.. they did it in the AL/NL DS, I want some little kids to be able to enjoy a game the way I used to….

Thanks, Ellen. Not trying to be a pest, but ya just cain’t trust them new-fangled technologies. Next will be poached pears.

It will be interesting to watch how the last three innings of Game 5 will be played and managed in a NL park. I hope Francona will be watching although he said it was painful to watch the WS from the beginning to the end.

Hi, All:

Just to let you know, you can get your fill of baseball during the winter months at Sox and Pinstripes. We’ll have daily posts, including lots of Hot Stove League coverage. In addition, you can learn about Red Sox history. I will write separate columns covering the best Red Sox players A-Z (there is no player that has a last name ending in X, in case you’re wondering). I will start with A as soon as the World Series is over and continue to Z through the off-season. I am also writing columns detailing in season in Red Sox history, starting with their victory in the first World Series played in 1903 as the Boston Americans. Also, I will detail the top 10 moments in the history of the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry.

Today’s post includes a bit of history, discussing Game Six of the 1975 World Series.

I am turning to baseball history on Sox and Pinstripes during the off-season because I want to post every day, and sometimes (especially in January) there is little to write regarding the Hot Stove League.

I know that Ian posts on a periodic, but not regular, basis during the off-season since he gets well-deserved time off after a long season as a beat writer. So if you’re like me, you will do anything for baseball news and information during the winter months.

Jeff
http://www.soxandpinstripes.com

Arnie, I have a question… Would I be able to substitute apples or peaches for the pears?? If so, I’m up for that one!! My husband wants to know if you have a good recipe forBeef Stroganoff and “wilted salad”…I dont know if you’ve heard of that last one.. It’s something his mom used to make and she passed long before I met him, He has some of her recipes but not either of those. Can you help a girl out??

and PS You are NEVER a pest!!!

Wow, Ellen! Good one! Wilted Greens, I haven’t thought about that in over 30 years. A memory from my youth a long time ago! That’s good ole country cookin’ right there. Anyway, I have some older cook books and the really old ones don’t have the wilted greens in them. The oldest of my books, from 1836 doesn’t have salads at all. But two books, one from 1954 and the other an old version of Joy of Cooking that is so old it has no covers left and the first and last half inch or so is missing. Those two had it. We used to make the wilted salad with Lamb’s Quarters, which is a weed but very tasty. You can use very young dandelion greens, if you are adventurous..

You need a head of leaf lettuce, a big bunch of spinach, or some curly endive if you like a slight bitter taste. Iceberg just won’t do. Wash and cut your lettuce into pieces about 1 and a half inches. Cook 4 or 5 slices of bacon til they are crisp and set them aside. Add to the warm bacon fat a quarter cup of cider vinegar, a teaspoon sugar, a teaspoon mustard, one tablespoon finely minced onion, some fresh ground pepper and a half teaspoon salt. Heat this to a simmer and pour it hot over the greens. Toss the greens and serve immediately with the crumbled bacon and sliced boiled egg.

Tell David that I’ll get back to you on the Stroganoff, but that the wilted greens is the kind of old-time culinary Americana that I love. Thank him for keeping that alive. So much of that food is going by the wayside and it’s a shame. Things like Salt Rising Bread, the Brown Bread that Garry and I love, Yorkshire Pudding, home-made mince meat pie and so forth. Talk to you soon.

This has turned into a CIA blog. Culinary Institute of Arnie, that is. No complaint. I love reading arnie’s mouth watering recipes. Since there is not much to talk about what has not already been talked about before the hot stove begins, perhaps Dave will share with us something about Patrick Henry, the revolutionary figure who gave “Give me Liberty or Give me Death” speech. Patrick Henry’s father was John Henry. Um, I wonder our beloved John Henry is the descendent of Patrick Henry lineage?
Phillies have 4 innings to win the WS and the Rays have 3 innings to bring the series back to Tampa/St. Pete. Let?s see how Manuel and Maddon manage this suspended game. Should be an exciting 3.5 innings to watch.

007, I’m taking over the blog! From now on it will no longer be Ian’s Brownie Points; I’m changing the name to Arnie’s Culinary Points. Hope no one minds. Face it, we’re in a baseball “Dead Zone”. The Phillies went 2 for 33 with RISP in the first 3 games and won 2 of 3. The other night they won a game, if memory serves me right, with a hit batsman, a wild pitch and throwing error combo, two intentional bases on balls, and a squibber down the 3rd base line that went maybe 50 feet. Then Carl Crawford was it? leads off with a bunt that Moyer makes a great flip to Howard who bare-hands it for the out, but ooops! the umpire couldn’t see the play and he gets it wrong! What a shame. Monday, Bud Selig, the Jimmy Carter of baseball, has them playing in a monsoon. To the players’ credit, they played pretty well. Poor Scott Kazmir, he threw some great pitches low in the strike zone that were called balls. All in all, this World Series has been a big disappointment. If only the Sox had been able to hit Matt Garza in game 7 this would be a much better Series.

Hey 007, tell me, what did the people DO in 1776? There was no Red Sox, no football, no radio, TV , telephone, cars, central heat, not even wood stoves! Books were rare and costly. There was not one recorded song; if you wanted to hear music, then by God, you played the instrument and sang the song yourself! Sure, there was a lot of work to do; just to do simple things required a lot of time but in the evening. What then? Enlighten us. You know your history, what the heck did people get up to in the “good old days”?

Arnie: Good question. What did people do in those days? Americans during the revolutionary period did not enjoy the amenities that we take for granted today. I think the family and social interactions were better-off then. The close bonds of family members and intimate social interactions made hard and boring life more endurable and enjoyable. The people enjoyed and celebrated more holidays and the kids invented games to play, etc… James Schouler wrote a book entitled ?Americans of 1776: daily life in revolutionary America?, if you are interested.

ANOTHER ADVENTURE IN BUD SIEGEL THE IDIOT.
(If you are not roaring over this one you have not read it. It’s hysterical)

Dear MLB,

I am aware of your concerns about low ratings and the World Series. I too am surprised but I think I understand. It?s a one sided series. The patriotic Devil Rays vs. whatever they?re called. I mean what has Philadelphia ever done for our nation?s history anyway but give us bad weather?
Here are the precautions. As you know heavy snow will be falling tonight so here are my suggestions. Have portable propane heaters near each of the bases and the outfielders. We can have the bat boys refill the tanks when they run dry. That should keep the players warm. Make sure the runners on the base paths are aware that a collision with a propane heater can cause serious injury or death ? just a precaution.
The heavy snow is a problem but I think if we fill the stadium with GoodYear blimps flying overhead so that the snow falls on them instead of the playing field is a great idea. We can also warm the air with some air to air missiles exploding in the air. The boiling hot debris falling on the fans will really be a welcome reprieve from the cold. Please advise them that minor burns may occur.
I also suggest camp fires as needed in the dugout to keep the players warm. We can burn the stadium seats since nobody plans to be at the game. The team can replace them in the off season. I?m looking forward to the barn fires.
Also due to the change in temperature the players will have to wear ice skates and the appropriate helmets. Have the second basemen wear extra protection because I am told that ice skates slamming into your knees during a slide may cause immediate death but I?m not sure about that. Check with a fireman or something.
The use of a propane heater on the pitcher?s mound is just too dangerous thanks to line drives so we?ll use a flame thrower on the pitcher. Just dress him dress in a fireproof suit and that should be fine.
Be sure to have a Zamboni machine ready to smooth out the ice for the baseball player skaters as well. The ball should really be flying on the field tonight at velocities that were never thought possible. I?m wondering why that worries me. Anyway, I think that should cover everything. Should be a great game tonight.

Bud Siegel

OK I’m still roaring over this one. Please read and comment.

Dave and Arnie, please e-mail me if you would like to write a column during the off-season for Sox and Pinstripes. Dave, I would be willing to periodically publish your stories, and Arnie, I would like to publish occasional sports-themed recipes. As you know, baseball news can sometimes be lean during the off-season, and I cover the Hot Stove League closely, and I am writing Red Sox history articles. However, I would like to add more variety. I have no problem with you continuing to publish things here as Brownie Points is not a competitor. Most of us who have blogs and online baseball sites get along quite well. On Sox and Pinstripes, your posts would be in column format. I added a humor columnist, Andy Wasif, who is an author and screenwriter. His column is posted today, so it gives you an example of the format your column would be listed. Anyway, e-mail me if you’re interested, Dave and Arnie. I look forwarding to keeping in touch with everyone on Brownie Points and Sox and Pinstripes throughout the long off-season. At least the Celtics are playing again!

Jeff
http://www.soxandpinstripes.com

Well Arnie, in 1776 I was about 17 years old. Those were trying times not so different from today in many ways. We were an ambitious people, fed up with our government from the homeland, looking for change and a better way of life. Does that sound familiar?

There weren’t a lot of shopping malls around in those days, so we spent a lot of time making things. If we wanted something, we built it, grew it, sewed it or created it in some fashion. That took a lot of time. My dad was a carpenter by trade, so I spent a lot of time working with him. I had a girlfriend and we would sometimes sneak out behind the tool shed. Yep, you never forget your first love.

There were many more things to do in those days, but they were things that needed to be done as a part of living, and getting by, and not so much for enjoyment. I think we called them chores, and by the time you finished everything that needed to be done, it was time for dinner and a quiet evening at home with the family around the fire. I remember Saturdays were bath days and for us seven kids, that was an all day affair. I don’t know how many miles mom put on those old shoes bringing bucket after bucket of hot water to the wash tub. I don’t know how old I was before I got to take a bath by myself. There always seemed to be one or two brothers in there with me. There were six boys. My one sister always got to take a bath by herself. It just didn’t seem fair at the time. Saturday was a big day for another reason because that was the day Nana made doughnuts. She had this big old black iron pot filled with boiling hot fat of some kind and she’d drop those doughnuts in there……. and man were they good right after they came out of the pot. You had to eat them warm though, because once those babies cooled off, they weren’t good for much more than holding the door open or straightening out an uneven chair or table.

Well, 1776 was a long time ago, but there are some things you just don’t forget.

Garry:
Those were the good old days of 1776. LOL Talking about 1776 David McCullough wrote a scholarly book ” 1776″. The John Adams miniseries was based on David McCullough’s biography of John Adams, I believe. Look forward to watching the DVD.

007chow,
Don’t forget to mention the teeth problems. Having healthy teeth was something of an rare thing. Losing your teeth was quite common especially in the Boston area.
I have not read David McCullough’s book on Adams. I read Page Smiths (that’s a true test of dedication) and a shorter one by an author that escapes me. I’m done with John Adams bios. I wish there was a good one on Franklin. The ones I’ve examined fall into ‘worship’ texts rather than a scholarly examination of the man. The only one I liked was “Franklin and Son, A little Revenge” which I thought was the most balanced (relatively speaking of course.
Dave…

Dave: There is a good book on Benjamin Franklin: An American Life by Walter Isaacson. You can order it from Amazon.com. You’ve got to love David McCulloggh, watching his narration of series or ducumentaries on PBS is like watching Walter Kronkite anchoring CBS news.

OK, someone give me feedback on this one. It’s hysterical:
IT?S THE NEW ZAZU DOLL
Hey kids, your favorite hero is finally in a large a colorful doll. The Zazu doll. Just touch any part of his body he says ?ow, I need to go on the disabled list for a long time.?
But that?s not all. Just touch the optional cell phone and you get a variety of messages from Zazu like: ?I?m going to hit 1000 home runs and if you believe that sign me up!?
In addition his arms have a rockem-sockem action. Just press the lever and Manny knocks down the optional press agent or travel agent action figure and crushes them into dust. Rock on Zazu!
The functional Zazu doll comes with three buttons you press to customize the sayings for each team. Press the Cleveland Button and Manny says things like ?I?m leaving you losers and I?m going to play on the Red Sox forever ? or press the Red Sox button and Manny says ?I?m leaving you losers and I?m going to play on the Los Angeles Dodgers forever? or press the Dodgers button and get ?I?m leaving you losers and want to play on the Blue Jays forever.? For teams not listed you?ll get the standard message of ?I?m leaving you losers forever and playing somewhere else.?
Don?t miss out on the limited edition Zazu doll. It?s only $150.00 for the entire package and that?s not all. Purchase this doll and Zazu will personally leave a message on your answering machine just like this:
?Hi, this is Zazu. Whomever you are, they or he or she is not home or not in an apartment or whatever and if they have kids they?re not home or something or whatever. ?
The Zazu doll is something you?ll want to keep as a family prize but just remember the doll melts down after 100 days due to the radioactive materials used in the manufacturing process so join in now for the Zazu doll.!

Dave, your Zazu piece, while entertaining, makes me sad. He ultimately committed the unforgivable sin of giving up on his team mates, and there were times when he was a huge distraction and didn’t play by the same rules as everyone else. I’m sure there were a lot of things that went on with him in the club house that we never heard about.

Still, I have many fond memories of Zazu. I remember his running out to left field waiving his little flag the day after he was naturalized. I remember him standing at home plate with his hands in the air watching that monster home run of K-Rod in the ALDS last year. I remember his sign in 2004 during the celebration ….. “Jeter is fishing, I’d rather be here.” I will always remember he and Big Papi being the most lethal 3-4 hitters in the history of the game. I always thought he was having fun when he played baseball, and that’s the way the game should be played. I guess he stopped having fun in Boston. It’s hard to say why, but when that happens, the situation can grow ugly fast. He is a sure-fire hall of famer and a big part of what he accomplished, he accomplished while helping the Red Sox to two World Championships. Lest we not forget he was the MVP in the 2004 series.

Maybe he’s not playing with a full deck, and he should be chastised for some of the things he did while with the Sox. But he was also the face of the franchise for a long time, brought us a lot of joy, and provided a lot of great memories.

Oh yeah, don’t forget to add the “Hits the crap out of anything” button to the Zazu doll.

Dave, that is you BEST to date. Please put me down for one. But do you think I get get one that has the different hairstyles (Cleveland:short/ Boston:Ratty and 2 tone/ LA:slightly trimmed) and can I get the one that has the optional pre-recorded message that says “Sorry, Tito, I cant play tonight, my Right, ah, no wait its my left knee thats hurting. And also along with the optional Traveling Secretary, I want the one with the optional Youk doll, the one that Slaps Zazu back after he pops him in the mouth!!!!

I hear there may be a Lugo Doll , along with the ZaZu doll- they will have interchangeable marbles that would fit into their empty heads.

This Phillies-DEVILRAYSDEVILRAYSDEVILRAYS game is looking very interesting so far… GO PHILLIES!! (hey at least they wear RED and WHITE, like some other team we know!!!!) Wow… that really sounds like a really moronic comment, huh??? Not like I grasp at straws or anything!!!
lol

This could be the last baseball we see for 184 days!! But then again, who’s counting!!! Oh hell, I am!

Phil, about that Lugo doll… I have heard that batteries are not included.. and even when you do put the batteries in , all it does is boot the ball and hit into inning ending double plays. I also hear that it will soon be sold at cut rate store like Big Lots. Apparently the name on the box says Julio Lug-Nut not Julio Lugo!!

Dave, can I order my doll today? I want the empty-headed model, that’s hilarious.

Hey guys,

Thanks for the feedback. I struggled for weeks trying to come up with an angle to spoof Zazu. That just fell into place. The Lugo doll is a great idea Ellen with anatomically correct body parts so the two connect together in fun and zany ways!
I love you guys and I love this blog. Incidentally, you heard it hear first — Phillies are World Champions!

Dave…

Kramer, you out there? Congratulations on your Phillies!

What a strange World Series. Tonight’s game just gets started and then it’s over. Doesn’t seem right somehow.
Garry, what’s the rule on suspended games; when a player has been in the game and came out before the suspension, can he come back in? Didn’t Howell pitch in the first half of the game? Help me, Wise One.

Well.. I have a HAPPY BOSS to walk into for the next few weeks… I’m really happy for the City of Philadelphia!!
20 some odd years since the Phillies only WorldSeries
(I think the other one was the Philadelphia Athletics) (sorry if I’m wrong).
But this was another classy team that dedicated the Trophy an all it stands for to their city…
WAY TO GO PHILLY!!
A GREAT NIGHT FOR YOU RGK.. GOOD FOR YOU KRAMER!!!

Bob Kramer:
Congrats on the Phillies! A World Champion in Baseball!
Dave:
I read your hilarious posts, very funny and entertaining. Put me down for the Zazu doll also.

Now back to WS. Can someone tell me again how did Phillies pitching shut down Pena, Upton, and Longoria who went 1 for something?
How could a weak lineup with no clutch hitting win the ws? The Phillies did it by playing small fundamental ball. They bunted, they pinch ran, they pinch hit. If the Phhilies were to adopt the Sox managerial styles, the leadoff doubles would likely be wasted and runners stranded at third base at best.

The Phillies pitching coach and catcher called for pitches that were away from the power of Pena, Upton, and Longoria, whereas the Red Sox repeatedly called for pitches that were in the power zones of the Rays hitters. Our friend JC Romero, a Red Sox reject, pitched like he is Lefty Grove.

I hear the Lugo doll is a real hit in the UK. They have him playing fullback for Manchester United. His ability to boot the ball has finally been appreciated. I’d also like to order one of those “Punch ZAZU in the nugget Youkalis dolls”. Does the ZAZU doll come with a diaper so he won’t make a mess when he finds out the highest bidder for his services are the Baltimore Orioles? Ha Ha!!!!!! Can’t wait for pitchers and catchers to report!!!!

The ZaZu doll comes with a third leg to replace the one that hurts. You have to guess whether it’s either the right or left- but it will fit both. The Lugo doll will have a face that gives that unique sneer-stare before it hits into the double play.

The Lugo doll could also be sold at Auto Parts stores where , instead of marbles, they can actually use Lugnuts to put into the empty head.

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